


Liminal Space

by DeathBelle



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A touch of emotional abuse, Family Issues, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, In regards to Semi's mother, M/M, Mentions of religion, Minor Sports-Related Injury, Pining, Semi learning to love himself, Slow Burn, Suppressed Feelings, awkward first meetings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-03-23 03:16:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13778502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathBelle/pseuds/DeathBelle
Summary: When Semi returns to Japan from boarding school, he has one summer before he moves away again, this time for university. He'd imagined that coming home would be nostalgic, but the city isn't the same as he remembers. The silence is too loud and the solitude is unbearable.He feels as if he'll quietly go mad before the summer ends; at least, until he stumbles upon some accidental friends. He grows attached to one of them in particular. Tendou Satori is odd but intriguing, too much and yet just enough. Semi's mother opposes their friendship, but Semi can't bring himself to abandon Tendou just because of her disapproval. He's already been lying to her about his future; sneaking around with Tendou isn't that much worse.Semi knows his new friendship can't last forever, but he'll cherish it while he can, even if it's only for one summer.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIYdeWDL9x0) too many times and this fic happened. It will be updated every Friday.

Semi had forgotten how to be alone.

He’d known how a few years ago, in his early teens. Back then, he had hobbies like reading and sketching and losing at video games. Solitude hadn’t bothered him. He’d quite enjoyed it.

Semi had thought it would be a relief to get some time to himself after spending three solid years at a boarding school that didn’t believe in personal space. 

Instead he felt unbearably awkward, like he was floating adrift on an endless sea.

It was his first morning waking up in his own home rather than a borrowed room overseas. There was no rustling or not-so-quiet murmurs from his roomates, no distant commotion from the corridor, and no screeching from the hot water heater on the floor above. Everything was quiet, peaceful.

It was nice for about thirty minutes. Then Semi felt like the silence would swallow him whole. 

He crawled out of bed too early, having woken up at seven from force of routine. He dressed in casual clothes, which fit oddly compared to his daily uniform, and shuffled into the kitchen.

It was empty, too. That was expected, but still a bit disheartening. 

There was a note on the counter, printed in his mother’s neat handwriting. He squinted at the characters, reminded himself that he was back in Japan, and read through the note more slowly than he should have.

  
_Eita, I have to work late. There’s enough rice in the cooker for breakfast and lunch. I left money in the top drawer in case I’m not back in time for dinner. Call me if you need anything. My work number is-_

 _  
_ Semi stepped away from the note and tipped the lid off of the rice cooker. He’d grown accustomed to dining solely from the canteen at school, and their menu options had never included Japanese cuisine. He supposed he would have to relearn his dietary choices, as well.

Just as he would have to relearn the art of solitude.

The kitchen floor was cool and, as the morning dripped by, the condo remained quiet. It was strange, because he knew Tokyo was a loud, busy city. Somewhere in the back of his mind he’d assumed everything would be a blur of motion once he got home.

It felt more like time itself had stopped, and he was suspended in the midst of it, hanging from a gossamer thread. With every second that ticked by, it grew closer and closer to snapping.

He’d planned to spend the day inside, enjoying the first day of his summer break, of freedom. 

By nine o’clock, he couldn’t take the silence anymore. He tucked his wallet into his pocket, grabbed his keys, and stepped out onto the street. It was immediately more bearable. The purr of passing cars blended with the bustle of pedestrians, and though the sidewalks weren’t packed, there were enough people around to make Semi feel more relaxed. He stepped into the midst of them and started walking with no particular destination in mind. He just needed to move, to exist somewhere that wasn’t the liminal space of his mother’s condo.

The streets were familiar, but in a vague sort of way, like he’d dreamt of them years ago. He studied the passing buildings with interest, relearning the landscape of the city. For the past three years he’d only been in Tokyo for one week every few months, and he’d spent most of that time holed up in the condo with his mother. 

This city didn’t feel like home anymore.

After an hour of aimless wandering, when Semi was becoming a little confused as to exactly which direction would take him home, he stumbled upon the arched gate of a neighborhood park. Unlike the rest of the city, which had passed by in a blur, the bright greenery of the park gave him a sense of comfort. He’d been brought there when he was younger, back before his mother had sent him off to boarding school. He remembered playing there with his friends in elementary school, and running around in the grass with the occasional friendly dog.

More distantly there was a fuzzy memory of his father pushing him on a swing, and it was one of very few things Semi could recall about him.

He stepped through the gate, dappled shadows of shifting leaves shading his face. The path was old concrete, crumbling at the edges. A jogger passed by him, and then a pair of women pushing strollers. A dog barked in the distance, paired with the pleased squeal of a small child. The air smelled of fragrant wisteria, and for the first time since his plane had arrived, Semi felt that he was truly home.

He passed by the small playground, and when he saw the swing set, the rush of nostalgia nearly stole his breath. He stopped for a moment, just staring, and it was fortunate that the swings were vacant, else it may have appeared odd. He shook his head and continued walking. He tucked his hands into his pockets, from habit rather than necessity. It was quite warm out; warmer than he was accustomed to.

He passed another cluster of joggers and heard a shout from beyond a low row of hedges. Cackling laughter followed, loud and borderline obnoxious. Semi crept closer.

The park was familiar, but the volleyball court that had been built about ten yards off of the path was not.

It was occupied by a group that appeared to be around his age. They were clearly mid-game, but it had been interrupted by an unknown distraction. One of them was doubled over, clutching his stomach and laughing so hard that his face was red. Another one scowled at him from across the net, fists clenched and jaw set. 

The laughing one sucked in a breath, raised his head, and saw Semi staring.

They looked at one another for only a fleeting second. Semi quickly turned away and retraced his steps to head back toward the gate. 

He was glad he’d found the park, because now he knew exactly how to get back home.

He also knew where he could go the next time he needed to escape the condo.

The way things were going, that would probably happen sooner rather than later.

  
  
  
  
  
The next day, Semi awoke to the sound of rain pattering against the roof. He rolled upright and tugged down the bottom slat of the blinds, peering out at the drenched sidewalk and the multicolored umbrellas bobbing by like buoys on an ocean.

He’d already vaguely intended to spend another day wandering the streets, but it appeared those plans were going to change. He had no desire to trudge around in the rain, especially since he didn’t even know if there was an extra umbrella in the condo.

Instead of exploring, he spent the day piled up on the couch, watching foreign movies, drinking hot tea, and trying not to think about how quiet it was.

The rain continued the following day, and the one after that. By Friday he was so jittery that he was out of bed before his mother even left for work.

She was filling a travel mug with fresh coffee when he stepped into the kitchen, still dressed in his pajamas. She blinked up at him, surprised, and smiled. 

“Good morning, Eita.”

“Morning, mom,” he mumbled back, the remnants of sleep making the words sticky.

“Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah, fine,” said Semi. He scratched at his messy hair. “Are you going to work late again tonight?”

His mother smiled ruefully. “I’m sorry, Eita. While you were away I had no reason to be home, so I’ve gotten in the routine of working too much. I’ll make some time for us this weekend, okay?”

“It’s fine, mom,” said Semi. “I don’t mind. Have a good day.”

She patted his cheek gently as she passed by, tossing her purse over her shoulder. “Thank you, dear. I’ll see you soon.”

When the sound of the front door announced her departure, Semi stepped up to the counter and peered into the rice cooker. It was full again, and he assumed his mother had refilled it last night. She didn’t have the time to make meals, and he understood that. He appreciated that she prepared anything for him at all. Even so, he was tired of the same thing every day.

He teetered on the edge of a decision, then went back to his room. When he again entered the kitchen, he’d changed clothes and his hair was tame. He slipped the small handful of yen out of the top drawer and left the condo.

This time he did less wandering and more searching. He knew what he was looking for; he just didn’t know exactly where to find it. A quick google search would have been helpful, but he personally felt that he shouldn’t need the internet to help him navigate the streets on which he’d grown up. With a sense of stubborn pride, he blindly kept looking.

It was an hour later before he found it, and breathed a sigh of relief as he stepped into the small, quaint bakery. Five minutes later he was sitting at a table by the windows, eating a croissant topped with blackberry jam. It was even better than the ones they’d served at school. It was flaky and fluffy, obviously baked fresh that morning.

He made a mental note to remember where this bakery was located, because he was certain that he’d be back.

Semi spent a while just sitting there, basking in the aroma of fresh bread. He had nothing to do, just like every other day. He could go back home, but he’d spent the last three days cooped up like a caged bird. He needed to stretch his wings. He needed to do something before the monotony drove him insane.

He ended up at the park again, and he wasn’t really surprised. 

There were more people scattered about this time. They were probably just as eager to get outside after three days of rain as Semi was. 

He meandered around the winding paths, looking at trees and listening to birdsong and breathing in the fresh air. When he neared the further reaches of the park, he heard raised voices from just over the row of hedges behind which he’d found the volleyball court a few days before.

He paused, steps stalled by the symphony of voices raised in laughter. He looked over his shoulder and considered turning around, but shook the thought out of his head. It was a public park. It didn’t matter how many people were congregated at the volleyball court. He had just as much right to be there as they did. He could walk right by and see the rest of the park. 

Semi took a breath and started forward again, dipping his hands into his pockets. He kept his face forward, but still couldn’t miss the blur of shapes at the edge of his vision. The players were in the grass, some lounging, some sitting. Their voices blended together as they carried several conversations in unison. 

Semi ignored them and continued on.

There was another row of hedges farther on, and once he passed through those, he found himself relaxing. A large zelkova tree grew nearby, the branches shading a vacant bench. Semi dropped onto it and stretched his legs out in front of him, staring absently into the distance.

If he hadn’t gone away to school, he might’ve been part of the group back there, sprawling on the grass and laughing at stupid jokes. His friends would have been here instead of overseas.

Of course, he hardly classified them as friends. He hadn’t heard a single word from any of them since graduation; not that he’d expected to. Semi had never been all that social. He tended to blend into the background.

Someone rounded the corner through the hedges, and it was someone who would have found it impossible to blend in, as Semi made a habit of doing. This person was obviously made to stand out.

He looked around, long neck craning from side to side, until he caught sight of Semi, partially hidden behind the zelkova tree. He smiled, slightly lopsided, and sauntered over. 

He stood a pace away and grinned down at Semi, his hair flaming against the backdrop of monotonous greenery. “Hi.”

Semi tilted his head back to stare and wondered why this stranger was talking to him. He checked over his shoulder to make sure there wasn’t someone else behind him. 

They were alone, and Semi looked up at him again. “Umm. Hey.”

The already wide smile stretched further. “I don’t know you.”

“Right…?”

“So it’s weird,” the guy said, plopping down on the other side of the bench without an invitation. “Do you live around here?”

“Yeah,” said Semi. He resisted the urge to scoot further away. It would be rude.

“That doesn’t make sense,” the guy said, “because you didn’t go to my school. I would recognize someone like you.”

Semi wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but he wasn’t certain he wanted to know.

“How old are you?” the stranger asked. “You’ve gotta be about my age. Unless you have that disease that makes you age backward and you’re really sixty years old.”

Semi frowned at him. He couldn’t figure out if this guy was serious or if he was somehow making fun of him.

“Oh, sorry,” said the stranger, as if suddenly realizing something. “I’m Tendou. Guess I should’ve said that first. Tendou Satori.”

“Semi Eita,” said Semi, because he wasn’t sure what else to say.

“So?” said Tendou, leaning a little closer. “How old are you?”

“Eighteen.”

Tendou’s face lit up. “Me too! Which is cool, but doesn’t explain why I’ve never seen you before. Are you real, or are you just a hallucination?”

Semi just stared at him. He wasn’t sure how to react to that, so he chose to ignore it. “I didn’t go to school here. I studied abroad.”

“Oh!” said Tendou. His eyes went wider. “Are your parents in the military? Wait, or maybe your dad is a government spy and he had to do missions in another country. Are you a spy, too? A spy-in-training? Are you spying on something right now?”

Semi looked around, wondering if he’d somehow slipped into an alternate reality where this sort of behavior made sense. Maybe he’d fallen asleep at the bakery and all of this was a particularly realistic dream. Or maybe he’d suffered some sort of mental breakdown and his way of coping was to create the most ridiculous human being imaginable and project him as real.

“Yo, Tendou!” Someone peered around the hedges and waved in their direction. “We’re starting up again, let’s go!”

“Be right there!” Tendou called, waggling his fingers in their direction. He turned back to Semi, and his smile was a bit more muted. “Well, guess I’d better go. I’ll see you around, Semi-kun. If you’re not a figment of my imagination, of course.” 

He grinned and loped back toward the hedges with long legs and longer strides.

Semi watched him go, baffled. He wasn’t quite sure what had just happened.

He sat on the bench for a while longer, watching butterflies flit around the chrysanthemums and enjoying the light breeze in his hair. Eventually he stood and traced the path back through the hedges, where he would have to pass by the volleyball court again to reach the exit.

They were mid-set, their shouts blending into one loud cry as one of them leapt into the air and slammed the ball across the net. The spiker cheered, along with his ragtag team, and Tendou turned away from him with a huff. He caught sight of Semi and his scowl brightened into a smile instantly. He waved, and all of his teammates turned to see what Tendou was looking at.

Semi put his head down and hustled toward the far row of hedges, where he’d be safe from searching eyes. He held his breath until he was past the cover and then expelled it in a huff. 

Meeting new people was awkward enough, but it was fiercely amplified when that new person was as strange as Tendou Satori. He still wasn’t convinced that the interaction had actually happened. His pace slowed as he walked, when he was no longer concerned that Tendou would come bolting after him. 

He wondered if Tendou’s friends were as strange as he was. They had looked mostly normal, but he supposed it was difficult to tell from a glance. Not everyone wore their uniqueness on their sleeves like Tendou.

When he stepped out of the park and back onto the sidewalk, he was somewhat relieved. Despite his uncertainty about Tendou, he did envy him one thing.

Semi desperately missed playing volleyball. 

  
  
  
  
  
He didn’t go back to the park for a few days. It was the weekend, after all; the only time he actually got to see his mother. She cooked for him, which was a nice change, and even took him out to a nearby restaurant for dinner on Sunday. They entertained polite conversation, and it wasn’t awkward, but it wasn’t exactly comfortable, either. If she hadn’t been his mother, the two of them would have basically been strangers. Before he’d moved back to Japan, Semi had seen her on two occasions during the past year. He knew little about her, and she knew even less about him.

Still, it was nice to have someone to talk to after a week of solitude. 

Then Monday rolled around, and Semi was alone again.

He counted out the weeks on the calendar his mom had pinned to the side of the fridge. 

There were eight weeks until his first term of university began.

He was going to have to do this for eight more weeks.

He felt like screaming.

Instead he left the condo and took to wandering the streets again. 

He went a different direction this time, pointedly avoiding the park and its strange inhabitants. For a while he just walked around, searching for something moderately entertaining and failing to find it. When he realized it was noon, he decided it was likely safe to return to the park. He’d been there in the mornings on his previous visits, which meant that was likely the time when the guys showed up to practice volleyball. If he went now, chances were that they would be gone. 

Maybe the park wouldn’t hold his interest for long, but aside from the strange conversation a few days before, it was currently his favorite place in Tokyo. The biggest reason for that was the memories attached to it, and the sense of calm that settled over him like a soothing blanket as soon as he stepped through the gate. 

It took him half an hour to find it, because he’d started from a different direction. When he did arrive, he’d hardly made it inside when he heard his name, raised in a shout.

“Semi-kun!”

Semi came to a dead stop, shoes scuffing against the path. He turned his head, slowly, and saw Tendou approaching him at a quick walk. A pair of his friends watched, bemused, before turning and continuing on their way.

Tendou drew even with him, grinning. There were damp patches on his shirt and a sheen of sweat on his face. Clearly their practice had just finished, and Semi was unfortunate enough to show up just as they were leaving.

If only he’d waited five more minutes.

“I haven’t seen you in a few days,” said Tendou. “Whatcha been up to?”

Semi just stared at him, unsure why Tendou was addressing him as if they were friends. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had spoken to him so informally, especially someone he didn’t know.

Just because Tendou knew Semi’s name didn’t mean he knew him.

Tendou tilted his head, and completely misinterpreted Semi’s silence. “My friends said they saw you,” he said, gesturing over his shoulder to the now-empty path. “Which means you must be real. They also said I was probably bothering you. Am I bothering you, Semi-kun?”

The urge to preserve politeness won out over Semi’s bluntness. “No, uh… it’s fine.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned slightly to the side, looking out across the park.

“Great!” said Tendou. “I was going to grab lunch before I went home. Wanna go?”

“What?”

“Lunch,” repeated Tendou. “Have you eaten yet?”

Semi was too startled to lie. “No.”

“There’s this really cool place just down the street,” said Tendou, gesturing toward the gate. “I go there all the time. It’s really good, I promise.” He turned and started walking, going only six steps before realizing Semi wasn’t beside him. “Are you coming?”

Semi just stared at him.

Tendou grinned again. “Do you have anything better to do?”

Semi considered the week of boring days that he’d lived through, and the longer stretch of boring days to come. 

He really didn’t have anything better to do.

“I guess not.” He turned and walked back to the gate, amid Tendou’s idle chatter. 

Tendou was weird, but at least he would break the day’s monotony. 

They ended up at a small restaurant that Semi had passed by several times. He remembered it, because the colors painting the outside of the building clashed terribly. 

They sat at a table near the back, Tendou babbling on about the ramen and Semi wondering why he’d agreed to this.

Tendou sat with his elbows on the table, gesturing as he spoke, his face constantly animated. Semi didn’t understand how he still had so much energy after a morning of hard physical exertion.

“So, Semi-kun,” said Tendou. He tilted his head to the side. “You said you went to school abroad, right? Where’d you go?”

Semi wasn’t sure he wanted to share his life story, but he figured giving a little information couldn’t hurt. “France,” he said. “My mom put me in a boarding school there.”

“Why France?”

“That’s where my dad was from,” said Semi with a small shrug. “It made sense.”

Tendou was quiet for a moment. Then his eyes lit up. “So do you speak French?”

“Yeah.”

“Teach me something!” said Tendou, leaning over the table. “Teach me some French.”

“No.”

“Come on, Semi-kun!”

“No. You’ll just forget it by tomorrow anyway.”

“Not true! I’m great with languages. I’m almost fluent in English!”

Semi frowned at him. “That’s nothing like French.”

“Well no, but it means my brain is wired to learn it. I’d pick up French easy.”

Semi raised a brow at him. He couldn’t tell if Tendou was being serious.

Fortunately the woman who’d taken their orders swooped in with their ramen. She placed the steaming bowls in front of them with a smile and left them to their food, successfully sidetracking Tendou’s insistence. 

Tendou picked at his food, more concerned with making conversation than eating. He asked Semi what sorts of things he’d studied, how long it had been since he’d lived in Tokyo, and what his plans were for the future.

“No way!” said Tendou, his eyes widening. “I’m going to Meiji University, too! I just got my letter from them a few weeks ago.”

Semi frowned down at his ramen. “I wanted to go to Aoyama Gakuin,” he said, “but I didn’t get accepted.”

“Fuck them,” said Tendou.

Semi looked up at him, startled.

“If they didn’t want you, it’s their loss,” said Tendou with a shrug. “Meiji is a really good school, too. What are you gonna study?”

“I, uh… I’m not sure yet.”

“You’ve got plenty of time to decide,” said Tendou brightly. He slurped up some noodles, content.

Semi stared at the table between them, baffled.

Tendou was more optimistic about Semi’s university situation than anyone Semi had spoken to about it. He didn’t understand why. Tendou didn’t know him at all. He had no reason to be so positive.

“So do you play any sports?” said Tendou, jumping subjects. “My friend Wakatoshi is going to the University of Tsukuba on a volleyball scholarship. I thought about going there, too, but it didn’t work out.”

Semi prodded at the remnants of his food. “I used to play volleyball,” he said cautiously. “For my old school.”

There was a beat of silence. Then Tendou asked, oddly subdued, “What position?”

Semi glanced up at him. “Setter.”

Tendou’s transformation from curiosity to absolute elation was almost comical. “We need another setter!” he said, so loudly that the woman behind the counter looked over at them. “We’ve been practicing so Wakatoshi and Reon and Hayato will still be on top of their game when their official university practices start up next month, but we’ve only got Kenjirou to set. Taichi tries, but he really sucks at it. You should come play with us!” 

“I don’t know,” said Semi vaguely, wilting beneath Tendou’s intense attention. “Our team wasn’t that great. We won sometimes, but we weren’t the best. If your friends got scouted for universities I’m probably not good enough to play with them.”

“Don’t be so dreary, Semi-kun,” said Tendou. “I’m sure you’re really good! You look like you’d be really good. Anyway, if you can set a decent quick then you’re definitely better than Taichi, and that’s all we really need. C’mon, just give it a try! If you hate us then you don’t have to come back, I promise.”

Semi looked to the side, but he still felt Tendou’s hopeful stare. “I’ll think about it,” he said.

He figured Tendou would argue, but the deflective response was accepted with a bright, “Okay then! We meet at the park every morning at nine. Except on Sundays, because Wakatoshi says we need to take a recovery day every week. We never did in high school. I think he must’ve read that in a book somewhere. Anyway, you can come join us any day! We’d be happy to have you, Semi-kun. All the guys are cool, and they’re all normal. You’ll probably like them. Don’t worry about being surrounded by a bunch of weirdos like me.”

Semi glanced back at him, but Tendou didn’t act as if he’d said anything strange. 

“Just show up if you feel like it,” said Tendou. “You don’t have to, though. No pressure, Semi-kun.”

“Okay,” said Semi. “Maybe.”

Tendou seemed satisfied by that, and Semi was glad that he let the conversation drop. He did miss volleyball, but he didn’t know if he missed it badly enough to play with Tendou’s group of friends. He hadn’t watched them too closely when he’d wandered by during their practice, but judging from what Tendou said, they were probably really good. He didn’t want to try to keep up with them and look like an idiot. 

But honestly, as Tendou had said before, it wasn’t as if he had anything better to do.


	2. Chapter 2

Semi didn’t go to the park the following day, or the one after, or even the one after that. In fact, he told himself that he wasn’t going to go at all.

It was only eight weeks. He could endure eight weeks by himself before he left for university. It wasn’t really that much time, and three days had gone by already, so he was closer to seven and a half weeks.

It wasn’t that bad. He could do it.

He woke up on the fourth day to the complete silence of the condo, pressing around him with such heavy gravity that he felt his eardrums would implode. 

It was seven-thirty. His mother probably wouldn’t be home for nearly twelve hours, which seemed to be the typical length of her shifts.

He didn’t think he could make it.

Semi dug into the back of his closet for a pair of old shorts and a ratty t-shirt, scarfed down a quick breakfast, and headed out into the Tokyo streets.

He didn’t think too much about what he was doing, because if he did, he’d probably turn around and go back home. Instead he focused on the people passing by, most of them likely on their way to work. He stepped to the side as a man walking a cluster of dogs hustled by, one of them pulling at its leash to sniff at Semi’s shoe before it was tugged along. He caught an inviting whiff of bread from the small bakery where he’d ordered a croissant, mingled with the aroma of coffee from the small shop next door. He hadn’t been back in Tokyo very long, but the cityscape was already becoming more familiar. It was comforting, almost.

Then he arrived at the park, and that comfort was scattered by a flare of nerves.

He almost didn’t go through the gate.

Then he caught a flash of a memory, sharp and present, like a familiar flavor blossoming on his tongue: shoes squeaking against polished floors, the dull burn of exertion weighing down his muscles, the hot swell of triumph from a perfectly executed set. 

His last game – and his last loss – had been three months ago, well before graduation. He’d assumed it would be the last time he ever played. He’d savored it like an alcoholic’s last drink, like a smoker’s last cigarette, and had tried not to think of it anymore.

Semi wasn’t sure if this impromptu practice in the park even counted as playing volleyball, but it was good enough. There would still be the blunt sting of the ball against his hands and the satisfying rush of a scored point.

Maybe he wouldn’t be good enough to play with these guys, but he could at least try. If he made a fool of himself he could just avoid the park for the rest of the summer. 

Despite the buzz of nerves beneath his skin, Semi walked along the path slowly, almost dragging his feet. Tendou had said they practiced every morning at nine. That left Semi with twenty minutes to burn, because he hadn’t been able to linger in the condo any longer. Maybe he could sit on the bench beneath the zelkova tree and wait it out. That would probably ease his stress. 

He approached the row of hedges and heard only the rustle of leaves and the chirp of morning birds from beyond. There was no chatter or laughter or thudding balls. Semi exhaled, somewhat relieved, and continued on.

He barely glanced at the volleyball court as he walked by. Then he realized a pair of eyes had looked back, and he stopped in the middle of the path.

Someone lounged at the edge of the court, one foot crossed over the opposite thigh, arms out and back bowed in a stretch. He seemed surprised to see Semi, but smiled regardless.

“Good morning,” he said, raising a hand as he sat upright. “You’re Tendou’s friend, right? He said he invited you to practice with us.”

Semi was definitely not Tendou’s friend, but he felt it would be rude to point that out. “Yeah, he, uh… he did, but if that’s not okay, I can just-”

“Not at all, we’d be glad to have you,” said the stranger with a smile. “We were hoping you’d decide to play. Our numbers are uneven. I’m Oohira, by the way. Oohira Reon, but you can just call me Reon.”

“Semi Eita.”

“Nice to meet you, Semi.”

Semi glanced toward the hedges, where the path was still vacant. Then he crossed the grass and stepped onto the edge of the court. 

Reon stood and pulled one foot back into a quad stretch. “Tendou said you’re a setter.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s great. We could really use your help. It’s hard to practice without two good setters.”

“I’m probably not that good,” said Semi, glancing to the side. He scratched at the back of his hair and belatedly realized he hadn’t even combed it. “My team wasn’t that great. We didn’t win much.”

“That’s alright. We’ll just be happy to have you.” He didn’t say it as if he was just being polite. He said it as if he meant it. 

Semi already like Reon. He supposed Tendou had been serious when he’d said his group of friends was fairly normal.

Reon dropped his foot and looked at something over Semi’s shoulder. Semi turned to find someone else approaching, a volleyball tucked under his arm. 

“Hey, Hayato,” said Reon. “Come meet Semi.”

The rest of them trickled in over the next few minutes, and Reon made it his duty to introduce Semi to all of them. They were friendly and polite and seemed pleased by his presence. Kawanishi, who’d been standing in as a makeshift setter, seemed particularly relieved. 

Tendou was the last of them to arrive, and at that point Reon had already began splitting them into teams. 

“Shirabu, you and Ushijima should stick together… Hayato, you go to their side, too. Goshiki and I will stay over here to balance out our offense. Taichi, do you want to stay on this side? Tendou can step over there, and then we-”

“Hold up there, Reon,” said Tendou, sauntering over to the group. He hooked an arm over Reon’s shoulders and grinned at Semi. “Taichi can go over there. I wanna be on this side. Hey there, Semi-Semi.”

“Hi,” mumbled Semi, looking away from him to watch Kawanishi duck under the net and join the other side. He didn’t seem bothered by the switch, but then again, he seemed like the sort of person who wasn’t bothered by much of anything.

Tendou slid away from Reon and sidled closer. “Good to see you,” he said, still wearing that lopsided grin. “I thought you wouldn’t come.”

Semi shrugged. “I didn’t plan to. I just got bored.”

“Well don’t you worry about that,” said Tendou, bumping his shoulder against Semi’s. “We’ll definitely entertain you.”

Semi scowled at him.

“Alright, let’s get started,” said Reon. “Semi, will you take the front left? We don’t have enough people for a full court so you’ll have to cover more space than usual.”

“Sure,” said Semi, ignoring the look Tendou gave him as he slipped past and moved to the front. Goshiki sprang closer to the net, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet. Semi glanced between him and Reon, pointedly avoiding Tendou, and asked, “How do you guys like your tosses?”

They told him, Reon calm and Goshiki animated. Semi filed the information away, took a breath, and hoped he could at least keep up with them.

They seemed like nice people. He didn’t want them to think he was terrible.

The first few sets were a little off. Semi knew it, and the others must have noticed, but they didn’t mention it. They also didn’t ask him to leave, which was probably a good sign. He set his jaw and narrowed his focus and finally started to fall into a rhythm. 

When Goshiki spiked his first successful toss of the morning, he turned to Semi with palpable excitement. “Semi-san! You’re much better than Kawanishi-senpai!”

Kawanishi acted as if he hadn't heard. 

Over the next half hour, Semi’s tosses improved, he managed to catch one of Shirabu’s dumps, and he nearly got nailed in the face by one of Ushijima’s ridiculously powerful spikes. 

It was the most fun he’d had in months.

He found himself smiling, even with Tendou making clever quips every few minutes at the opposing team’s expense. He wasn’t annoying in the middle of a match. Hardly anything could dampen Semi’s spirits while he was playing.

Their formation rotated, and Semi paced to the back corner of the court for his serve.

It had been a long few months since he’d served a ball. He’d been good at it once, one of the best on the team. Now he feared he’d gotten rusty, and considered forgoing a jump serve in favor of just getting the ball over the net.

But Semi had never been one to settle for mediocrity.

He tossed the ball, launched himself into the air, and slammed it with everything he had.

The ball shot forward like a missile, so quickly that it was almost a blur. It whizzed a breath away from Tendou’s head and slapped into the net, spinning wildly before bouncing sadly away.

Everyone was quiet. Tendou turned slowly, pressing one hand to the side of his head, as if to make sure his skull was still intact. He looked back with wide eyes and said, in a loud whisper, “Are you trying to _kill me_ , Semi-Semi?”

Semi snorted and bit down on a laugh, turning away so Tendou wouldn’t see his smile.

The rest of the morning drizzled by in a blur of serves and spikes and tosses. Semi’s team lost, but no one seemed surprised. He imagined it would be almost impossible to win when Ushijima Wakatoshi was their opponent. 

He’d assumed Ushijima would be good at volleyball, considering he’d received a full scholarship. He hadn’t, however, expected him to be the best wing spiker that Semi had ever seen.

Semi was impressed by him. He was also, much more reluctantly, impressed by Tendou. He was an excellent blocker, and his intuition was admirable.

Semi would have rather died than told him that, though.

He sat on the edge of the court, sucking down water from a spare bottle given to him by Reon. He was tired and sweaty and his arms felt like jello, but he was more content than he’d been in months.

Tendou slumped down next to him, fanning himself with the collar of his shirt. “Good game, Semi-Semi. You’re not bad at all.”

“Thanks,” said Semi. He considered his words carefully before adding, “You’re okay, too, I guess.”

Tendou grinned and took a drag of water. “Be careful. That was almost a compliment.”

Semi scowled at him, but it was forced. It was difficult to be genuinely annoyed when the thrill of a good workout pulsed in his blood. 

“So what are you doing now?” asked Tendou. “Got plans?”

“Going home, I guess,” said Semi, though he didn’t fancy the idea of sitting alone in the condo for the rest of the day. At least his morning had been filled with motion and sound and interaction. He could make it through the evening now.

“It’s Wednesday,” said Tendou.

Semi raised a brow at him.

“Tsutomu’s mom always makes us lunch on Wednesdays,” Tendou explained. He nodded at Goshiki, who stood at the opposite side of the court with Shirabu. “You wanna go?”

Semi looked from Tendou to Goshiki and back again. “What?”

“Do you want to go?” said Tendou with exaggerated slowness. “It’s an easy question, Semi-Semi.”

“Why are you calling me that?”

Tendou shrugged. “Just ‘cause I want to.”

Semi rolled the water bottle between his palms with a frown. “You can’t just invite me to someone else’s house, Tendou. It’s impolite. I should just go home anyway, I don’t-”

“Hey, Tsutomu!” shouted Tendou, drowning Semi out completely. “You should invite Semi over to your place for lunch!”

Goshiki perked up like an excited puppy. “Yes! You should come over, Semi-san!”

He took a step toward them, but Shirabu seized his shirt and tugged him back. Shirabu muttered something, quietly, and Goshiki’s attention was again lost.

“You see, Semi-Semi?” leered Tendou, leaning over and nudging Semi with his elbow. “There’s your invitation. Wanna go?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to impose.”

Tendou rolled his eyes. “Goshiki-san feeds seven of us every week. Do you really think she’s going to mind having one more mouth to feed?”

Semi wanted to keep arguing, but he could tell by the way Tendou looked at him that he wasn’t going to give in. 

Besides, Semi did sort of want to go.

“Fine,” he mumbled. He took another drink and ignored Tendou’s triumphant grin. “I’m not staying long, though. And if there’s not enough food for all of us, I’m leaving.”

“Whatever you say, Semi-Semi.”

 

 

 

There was definitely enough food for all of them.

Goshiki’s mom had welcomed him with open arms and a warm smile. She’d only asked his name before waving him into the kitchen and advising him to help himself. 

There were at least eight different kinds of onigiri. They were arranged on multicolored platters and each one was shaped to perfection. 

They had been made with such care that Semi almost felt guilty about eating them.

Despite that, he ended up sitting cross-legged on one side of the long dining room table, squeezed in beside Tendou and Ushijima. The banter that passed back and forth between the table’s occupants was comfortable, familiar. Semi sat back, nibbled at his onigiri, and basked in the buzz of conversation.

“You okay, Semi-Semi?” asked Tendou, leaning closer.

“Yeah, why?” 

“You’re not talking much.”

“I’m fine.”

“You sure?” pressed Tendou. “Is your food okay? You should’ve tried this kind. It has chicken in it. Here, try it.”

“I don’t want it.”

“Just a little bite, here.” 

“Tendou, I don’t-”

Tendou pushed it toward him, missed his mouth, and left a smear of chicken filling across Semi’s cheek. Semi flailed back, bumping into Ushijima.

“Sorry,” he said quickly, righting himself and fumbling for a napkin. He scrubbed the side of his face and glared at Tendou.

“That’s alright,” said Ushijima. He hadn’t budged at all. He was built like a truck. He studied Semi thoughtfully. “Will you be practicing with us in the future?”

“Oh, uh… I’m not sure,” he said. He felt Tendou staring on his other side and tried to ignore him. 

“You should,” said Ushijima. “It was helpful to have another competent setter.”

Across the table, Kawanishi gave him a blank look.

“Thanks,” said Semi. 

“We have a practice game on Saturday with another team,” said Tendou, leaning halfway across Semi to join their conversation. “You should come play with us, Semi-Semi. It’ll be fun!”

“If it’s a match against another team then you won’t need me,” said Semi. “You only need one setter.”

“We could use you as a pinch server,” said Ushijima. “You are quite skilled at serves.”

That was a serious compliment coming from Ushijima, who had the most powerful serves that Semi had ever seen. 

“I’ll think about it,” said Semi.

Tendou sighed. “Just say you’ll do it. You know you want to.”

Semi scowled at him. “Fine, whatever.”

Tendou sat back with a satisfied smile. “Don’t worry, Semi-Semi. You’ll have fun. I promise.”

Semi wasn’t sure how much he could trust Tendou’s promises, but for right now, he was content.

   
  
  
  
  


As it turned out, Tendou was right about the match. 

Semi did have fun.

They won, of course. It wasn’t a surprise. Semi was fairly sure that any team Ushijima played on would win, no matter what sort of opponents they were facing. 

Semi stepped in as a pinch server during each set, and scored at least a couple of points each time. He’d practiced enough over the past few days to get his serves back in working order and hadn’t sent a single one into the net again. 

“Good game, Semi-Semi!” crowed Tendou when the last set had been won and the players had started to scatter. He raised his arm, and Semi briefly considered him before slapping his hand against Tendou’s. “You didn’t try to knock me out a single time!”  


“Maybe I should have,” said Semi. He fanned himself with the neck of his t-shirt. It had gotten swelteringly warm over the past hour. He supposed that was why they always practiced early in the morning instead of in the middle of the day, which was when the match had been played. “It would be a lot quieter around here.”

Tendou didn’t immediately answer, and Semi feared he’d been too rude.

Then a gangly elbow leaned against his shoulder and Tendou grinned at him. “You’d miss me if I wasn’t around and you know it.”

“I’ve only known you for a week,” said Semi drily, stepping away. “I think I would survive.”

Most of their teammates had left the area, drifting off in pairs or trios. Only Ushijima remained, speaking to one of the members of the opposing team, who didn’t look thrilled by the conversation.

“Do ya wanna go get dinner?” said Tendou. He stepped over to the edge of the court and grabbed his bag out of the grass. “My treat, since you helped us win today.”

Semi wasn’t convinced by that reasoning. They would have won even without him. Tendou had scored so many points with his blocks that Semi’s meager success with serving paled in comparison. 

Still, he felt a little discontent when he said, “I can’t. My mom is home on the weekends and she’s cooking tonight.”

“Oh. Okay then, Semi-Semi. Maybe some other time.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

Tendou didn’t sound disappointed, but his smile was a shade dimmer than usual as he gave Semi a wave. “I’ll see ya later.”

Semi raised a hand to return the gesture, and it fell limply back to his side as Tendou started toward the path through the hedges. 

One of Tendou’s hands gripped the strap of his bag and the other swung idly by his side. He whistled tunelessly as he walked away. He appeared fine, unaffected the rejection. 

That didn’t extinguish the twist of guilt in Semi’s gut.

He jogged after him without thinking, calling after him in a low voice. “Hey, Tendou, hang on.”

Tendou looked over his shoulder, lips puckered mid-whistle.

“Do you want to come over?” said Semi, the words a rush. “For dinner, I mean.”

Tendou blinked at him, clearly startled by the offer. “Uh… are you sure?”

“I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t sure.”

“Will your mom be okay with that?” 

Semi started to answer, hesitated, then said, “She should be. She always makes a lot of food. We have lots of leftovers every time she cooks.”

“Does she mind if you have friends over?”

“I doubt it. I haven’t lived with her for a few years, but back in middle school, I…” he trailed off, suppressed a wince at the memory, and quickly added, “I think it’ll be fine. Do you want to or not?”

Tendou grinned. “If you insist, Semi-Semi. Lead the way.”

“You can stop calling me that anytime.”

“I could, but I probably won’t.”

The walk back to Semi’s condo passed in comfortable conversation and the occasional snappy remark. Tendou didn’t seem as weird as he had during their first meeting. Semi didn’t know if he’d been too judgmental or if he’d just gotten used to Tendou’s brand of strangeness.

Either way, he found he didn’t really mind his company. It was refreshing, actually, after all the time he’d spent alone.

Even before, when he’d still be in France, his friends at school hadn’t been like this. They’d been reserved and polite, always minding their manners and their tongues. 

Tendou seemed to blurt out every thought that passed through his head, and Semi was a little comforted by that. It meant he didn’t have to be quite as careful about what he said, either.

“You’re a huge nerd,” said Semi flatly when Tendou paused during his rant about some manga series Semi had never heard of. “Has anyone ever told you that?”

“Lots of times,” said Tendou, unfazed. “It’s okay when you say it though because you have this cute little smile on your face.”

“Shut up. I do not.”

Tendou grinned at him but didn’t argue.

When they reached the condo, Semi stepped inside first. He kicked his shoes off and nudged them to the side, moving over so Tendou could do the same. The metallic clang of pots drifted from the kitchen and Semi started toward it, ignoring the flicker of anxiety in his gut.

“Hey, mom,” he said, pausing at the kitchen doorway.

“Hello, Eita, dear,” she said, offering a smile over her shoulder before turning back to the stove. “How was your day?”

“It was good. I, uh… I invited a friend over for dinner. I hope that’s okay?”

She looked back again, just as Tendou stepped up behind him.

“Sorry for the intrusion,” said Tendou with a slight dip of his head. “Semi-kun invited me but if that isn’t okay I’ll gladly see myself out. I don’t want to be an inconvenience.”

Semi turned to the side and stared at him, baffled by the sudden change in his demeanor. 

The illusion of respectability was shattered when Tendou gave him a quick, sly wink.

Semi’s mother paused, considering him. She gave Semi a look that was undecipherable before saying, “Of course you’re welcome here. We’ll be glad to have you for dinner. Both of you go wash up. It will be ready in a few minutes.”

“Thank you, Semi-san,” said Tendou politely, following Semi down the hallway to the small bathroom. As Tendou scrubbed his hands in the sink, he grinned at Semi. “I think your mom likes me.”  


Semi rolled his eyes and nudged him out of the way. Water splattered on the tile floor. “Only because you were being completely fake.”

Tendou shrugged. “Most people don’t like me otherwise.”

Semi’s hands stilled under the warm water. He looked up at Tendou, frowning. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just what I said. Luckily you’re not most people and you like me anyway, right?” He reached across Semi for a towel. “I don’t know what she’s cooking but it smells great. Do you cook too, Semi-Semi?”

“Only if it’s something microwavable.”

Tendou laughed, and Semi couldn’t help but smile a little. 

Soon enough, the two of them were seated at the kitchen table with Semi’s mother, their plates piled with food. Tendou was just reaching for his chopsticks when she cleared her throat and said, “If you would wait just a moment, Tendou-kun. We pray before we eat.”

Tendou went still, fingers hovering an inch off the table. “Oh. Uh, okay.”

He dropped his hands into his lap as she bowed her head and pressed her palms together, eyes closed.

Semi lowered his head too, but he didn’t miss the look Tendou gave him, rife with confusion.

He probably should have explained this beforehand. 

Regardless, Tendou sat quietly until the prayer was finished, and only then started on his food.

“So, Tendou-kun,” said Semi’s mother after a moment. “Did you grow up here in Tokyo?”

Tendou swallowed and said, “Oh, yeah. I’ve always lived here.”

“Which part of the city?”

“Over on block 94. It’s not too far from here.”

Her face didn’t change, but Semi still felt a little unsettled by the way his mother eyed Tendou.

“Is that so?” she said idly. “I’m assuming you’ve finished high school like Eita. What are your plans now?”

“Oh, I’m going to Meiji,” said Tendou. “Just like-”

“Can you pass the soy sauce, mom?” said Semi, talking over him. He gave Tendou a sharp look and hoped the intention was clear. 

Tendou raised a brow at him, but let the subject drop.

Semi’s mom hummed, sliding the bottle across the table. “I’ve heard that’s a nice school. I went to Waseda, myself. Eita’s father went to the University of Bordeau.” She gave Semi a gentle smile. “He did very well there. I’m sure Eita will, as well.”

Semi stared down at his plate and silently begged Tendou to keep his mouth shut.

“Oh,” said Tendou. “Yeah, I’m sure he will. Semi-kun is really smart.”

Semi felt his cheeks burn a little, less from the compliment and more from the awkwardness of the situation itself. 

Fortunately, his mother started talking about something off-topic and he was able to breathe again. He chanced a look at Tendou, who watched him with subtle concern.

Semi decided to stare at his food for the remainder of the meal.

When it was over and the kitchen had been tidied up, Tendou said his goodbyes and Semi walked him to the door. They stood awkwardly in the genkan, Semi looking at the floor and Tendou looking at him.

“Thanks for inviting me over,” said Tendou quietly. “It was nice.”

“Don’t worry about it,” mumbled Semi. 

A few seconds of silence stretched into nearly a minute. Semi knew Tendou wanted to ask about the dinner conversation. Semi had plainly told him he was going to Meiji University. He probably thought Semi had lied to him. 

But he couldn’t talk about it now, not when his mom was two rooms away.

“I’ll see you later.”

“Okay,” said Tendou. He had one hand on the door when he paused. “You’re coming to practice Monday morning, right?”

Semi still couldn’t quite look at him. “Maybe.”

Tendou sighed. Semi couldn’t hear it, but he felt it.

“I hope you do,” said Tendou. “It’s nice having you around, Semi-Semi.”

With that he was gone, and Semi hated himself for not saying more.


	3. Chapter 3

All day Sunday, Semi told himself he wasn’t going to practice the following day. It would be awkward and uncomfortable, and despite what Tendou had said, he probably didn’t want Semi there anymore.

He shouldn’t have invited Tendou over, at least not without explaining the situation beforehand. 

He told himself he wasn’t going, but on Monday he woke up at exactly seven o’clock, had breakfast, and realized he had literally nothing else to do.

Semi arrived at the park a few minutes before nine o’clock, and he was welcomed just as warmly as he had been the week before. Tendou gave him the same too-wide grin as usual, and Semi’s anxiety settled.

If Tendou thought any differently of him because of the dinner at Semi’s condo, he didn’t show it. There were still teasing remarks, annoying nicknames, and laughter that was nearly infectious. They were on the same team again, and Semi was relieved. He didn’t mind the other guys – quite liked them, actually – but Tendou just seemed easier to get along with.

They remained on the same team during practice the next day, and the next, and even the one after that. It wasn’t a coincidence. Semi knew Tendou was coercing the others into keeping them paired up, but he didn’t mind.

On Friday morning Semi rose at the same time as usual and made it into the kitchen before he realized something was different. He looked around, saw nothing out of place, and belatedly realized what the change was.

The condo wasn’t completely silent.

He rushed over to the window and shoved the curtains to the side, peering out at the street beyond. Everything was drenched. Water sloshed beneath the feet of pedestrians, dripped off of streetlamps, and sprayed beneath car tires. He let his arm drop, the curtains settling back into place, and took a moment to listen to the patter of rain against the roof. It would have been comforting at any other time, but now it only meant he was trapped inside the condo all day.

He dragged his feet back to his room, intending to fall back into bed and sulk for a while, but the _ping_ of his phone caught his attention. He plucked it off his nightstand and sat on the edge of the bed to open the message.

_Hey Semi-Semi! It’s raining so we’re not having practice. Wanna come over instead? I’ve got lotsa movies._

Semi stared at the screen so long that it went dark. He tapped it, reread the message, and fell backward onto his bed, staring at the ceiling, the phone clutched loosely in one hand.

He should say no. Going over to Tendou’s place wasn’t a good idea. His mom hadn’t said anything else about Saturday, but he had a feeling she wouldn’t approve. Not because of Tendou himself – although that may have also been a factor – but because she wouldn’t want Semi to be alone with someone at their residence. 

She could have been called overprotective.

Semi preferred “overbearing”.

He understood the reason. He understood all too well. Despite his best attempts to erase the Middle School Incident from his mind, it was always there, the memory waiting to spring up at him every time he let his guard down. He knew his mother had been thinking about that when he’d brought Tendou over for dinner. She must have been, because Semi had certainly been thinking about it.

He shook himself and rolled onto his side, prepared to deny Tendou’s offer, but another message came through before he got the chance.

_And, unlike you, I can actually cook. I’ll make you breakfast._

Semi chewed on his lip, thinking. He didn’t want to be alone all day, and Tendou wasn’t so bad. He’d actually started enjoying his company over the past week. He was bright and funny and had been oddly friendly to a complete stranger. If it wasn’t for Tendou, Semi’s summer would have been a lot more boring.

Still, going to hang out with him might not be the best idea. 

He should just stay home and hope the rain passed by tomorrow.

There was another _ping_ , and one more message.

_You don’t have to though, if you don’t want to. No pressure, Semi-Semi. If you wanna stay home I’ll just seeya tomorrow._

Tendou was giving him an easy out. He could say no and the offer would pass with no hard feelings. Tendou didn’t seem the sort to hold grudges over something like this. Semi could refuse and everything would be fine.

But he didn’t want to refuse.

_Okay_ , he messaged back. _What’s your address?_

He got the answer in thirty seconds, along with a big-eyed smiley face that looked eerily similar to Tendou.

Semi breathed a sigh and only realized a moment too late that he was smiling. He wiped it off of his face quickly, mouth twisting instead into a grimace, before pushing himself upright and digging through his closet.

Fifteen minutes later he was slogging along the wet sidewalk, one hand tucked in the pocket of his jacket, the other suspending an umbrella overhead to catch the brunt of the rain. The pelting drops were a loud rap, the repetitive drum of it blending into white noise. Stray water splashed his sleeves, soaking down to his skin. Semi liked rain, but only if he could stay inside. He didn’t like trudging around in it. 

By the time he made it to block 94, water had dripped into his shoes and soaked his socks. It was fortunate he’d rolled up his jeans before he’d left or the hems would have been absolutely drenched.

The address Tendou had given him belonged to a stack of apartments. Semi stood across the street and stared for a few minutes, an occasional raindrop splattering against his upturned face. 

He now understood his mother’s subtle disapproval when Tendou had told her where he lived. This wasn’t exactly the nicer part of town. In fact, it was the part that Semi had avoided during his random wanderings through the Tokyo streets. 

The apartments looked like they’d been there for several long decades. Some of the windows were boarded over, others were obscured by newspaper or thick curtains, and a couple of them were split by spiderwebbing cracks. The building had once been painted but now it was plain, rough concrete with a few peeling strips of faded blue. A cluster of teenagers stood outside the main entrance beneath the shelter of a slim overhang, smoking cigarettes. Semi wondered where the boys had gotten them. They looked much too young to buy cigarettes, maybe even younger than he was.

He thought about leaving. He could text Tendou and say he didn’t feel like coming over after all.

Then he realized that’s exactly what his mother would have done, turning back because of some preconceived judgments about the sorts of people who lived in a place like this.

Semi tightened his grip around the handle of the umbrella and splashed through the crosswalk. 

He half-expected the boys at the door to block his path, but they easily stepped aside. He caught a lungful of cigarette smoke as he shook off his umbrella and stepped uncertainly into the building.

The inside looked equally as unappealing as the outside. 

Semi forged ahead anyway.

He took the elevator up to the fourth floor, holding his breath during the ascent while wondering if the sickly squeak of the gears meant he was about to plunge to his death. He arrived unscathed and walked slowly down the hallway, eyeing the numbers stamped outside each door.

When he found the right one he stopped, the umbrella dripping onto the faded carpet, his toes squishing unpleasantly against his wet socks.

He took a breath and rapped his knuckles against the door three times.

The wait was brief. Tendou appeared, filling the doorway with his impressive height, wearing the same smile as usual. 

When he spoke, his voice was muted. “Semi-Semi!” he said in a hushed whisper. “You’re here.”

Semi raised a brow at him. He wasn’t sure why Tendou was whispering but he dropped his voice, too. “Yeah, I told you I was coming.”

“I know, but I thought you might’ve drowned on your way over. Come on in.”

He stepped to the side and Semi eased past him into a cramped entryway that was a makeshift genkan. He toed off his shoes and, after a moment’s hesitation, peeled his socks off as well. “Sorry,” said Semi, still matching Tendou’s whispers. “I got rain in my shoes.”

“See? You did almost drown. My room is this way. Try and be quiet, my mom is asleep. She works night shifts.”

Semi nodded and followed him. The more of the small apartment he saw, the more relaxed he became. Nothing about it was impressive or fancy, but it wasn’t as bad as the exterior suggested. Everything was clean and orderly, the old tile floor discolored but gleaming from a recent wash, the kitchen counters spotless. 

Semi felt a pang of guilt for being judgmental, but was distracted when he stepped into Tendou’s room. Like the rest of the apartment, it was small and clean, but it still had the disorganized atmosphere that Semi associated with Tendou’s contained chaos.

Tendou shut the door behind them, gave an audible exhale, and returned to his normal speaking voice. “Welcome to my lair, Semi-Semi! When mom wakes up we can watch tv in the other room, but we can use my laptop for now. Are you hungry or do you want to wait? I make some mean omurice.”

“We can wait, that’s fine,” said Semi. He was hungry, but wasn’t quite sure he could eat comfortably while he was still so wound up from the walk over. He looked around, wondering what he was supposed to do, when Tendou pointed to his hastily made bed.

“Make yourself at home,” said Tendou. “Grab some pillows. The bed doesn’t look that nice, but it’s actually pretty comfortable.”

“Yeah, okay,” said Semi. He looked around, confirming that there wasn’t anywhere else to sit. He slowly approached Tendou’s bed and frowned down at it. Tendou was bustling around on the other side of the room, which was so small that Semi could’ve almost reached out and touched him. 

“So your mom doesn’t care that I’m here?” asked Semi as he gave in and crawled onto the bed, stuffing a pillow behind his back and leaning against the wall. 

“Nah, of course not,” said Tendou. “She said my friends are welcome anytime. She’s pretty cool.” He took two steps to cross the room and plopped down beside Semi, propping a laptop on his knees. It was an older model, but seemed to have been kept in good condition. It slowly started loading and Tendou said, “So what kind of stuff do you like to watch? Action, comedy, romance, _anime_ …?” He said the last with a sort of hopefulness.

“Whatever you want to watch,” said Semi with a shrug. He folded his arms and stared down at his bare feet. “I don’t care.”

Tendou grinned and started typing.

An hour and two episodes later, Semi still had no idea what sort of show they were watching. It was animated, and there was a lot of yelling and dramatics and possibly some element of magic.

He was confused, and Tendou seemed to be unbearably pleased by that.

“That one was great, right, Semi-Semi?” said Tendou, bumping their shoulders together. “Can you believe he chose the girl over his best friend? Because I can, it happens all the time. That’s the real tragedy here.”

“Sure, whatever.”

“You hungry yet?” said Tendou, leaning into him. 

Semi tried not to think about how close they were. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Great!” Tendou hopped off the bed and carefully returned the laptop to its designated shelf. “Let’s go to the kitchen. But still try and be quiet, okay?”

It was a pointless reminder, especially when Tendou dropped a skillet five minutes later and the resultant crash was loud enough to wake the neighbors five floors above them.

The two of them stared at one another, the echoes of Tendou’s clumsiness ringing around the kitchen. For a moment nothing happened. Then, from behind a nearby door, there was the squeak of bedsprings and the quiet murmur of footsteps.

Tendou slapped a hand over his face. Before his mom had even stepped into the kitchen, he was already apologizing. “I’m sorry! I dropped a pan. I didn’t mean to, it slipped out of my hand. I was trying not to wake you up. I know you only got home a few hours ago.”

“It’s fine, Satori,” she said. She patted him on the arm and then looked at Semi. Her eyes were weary, but her tired smile was genuine. She appeared young; much younger than Semi would have expected. Her hair was sleep-rumpled but still silky smooth, falling past her shoulders in gently rumpled waves. It was dark, but the lighter shade at her roots and the freckles spattered across her cheeks suggested her natural color may have been closer to Tendou’s. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Semi-Semi,” said Tendou. He crouched to retrieve the pan and slid it into the sink. Fortunately he hadn’t yet started cooking before it had been dropped. “I told you about him, remember? He’s the one from France.”

“Of course I remember,” she said. “You’ve made it impossible not to. Hello, dear.”

“Pardon the intrusion,” said Semi with a quick dip of his head.

“Not at all. You’re welcome any time.” She pulled her cotton robe more tightly around herself and said, “I was just making sure everything was okay. I’m going back to sleep for a little while.”

“I’ll be quieter,” said Tendou. “Sorry, mom.”

“Don’t worry about it, Satori. It was nice meeting you, Eita-kun. Maybe I’ll see you a little later.”

“Nice to meet you too, Tendou-san,” said Semi.

“Just call me Akari, dear. I don’t use that name anymore.”

Semi was afraid he’d offended her, but she simply smiled, gave him a small wave, and disappeared back into her room.

Tendou turned back to the sink and rinsed out the pan, this time being more careful as he moved it to the stove.

“Your mom is nice,” said Semi quietly.

“What?”

Semi huffed, but slipped off of his stool and moved closer, leaning against the counter as Tendou cranked up the heat. “I said your mom’s nice.”

“Yeah, she’s pretty cool. I think it makes her happy when I have friends over. Because I didn’t have many of them when I was younger.”

Semi didn’t know what to say to that, so he changed the subject. “Thanks for inviting me. I would’ve been bored to death sitting at the condo all day.”

“Like mom said, you can come over any time,” said Tendou. “I’m surprised you don’t like staying at home, though. You have a really nice place. It’s way better than this apartment.” He dropped his eyes to the pan as he said it, as if he was self-conscious.

Semi shrugged. “There’s nothing wrong with this,” he said. “It’s cozy. I had to share a room with three other guys for the past three years. Having a lot of space actually feels weird to me.”

Tendou grinned. “That sounds awful.”

“It wasn’t fun.”

“Did you like them?”

Semi shrugged. “They were okay, I guess. We got along. I usually just minded my own business.”

Tendou made a humming sound. He cracked a pair of eggs into the skillet, discarded the shells, and broke open another pair to join the first. He did it with the ease of repetition, as if he’d done this so many time before that he didn’t even have to think about it. He didn’t say anything else and neither did Semi, contenting himself with watching as Tendou put together their breakfast.

Half an hour later, Tendou had produced three perfect plates of omurice. He tucked one into the fridge so his mom could reheat it later and passed the other to Semi as they retreated back to his room.

Semi had been a little concerned that the breakfast wouldn’t taste good and he’d have to lie to spare Tendou’s feelings, but there was no need. It was delicious, and he scraped up every last bite, even as Tendou discarded half of his own. 

“It’s good, right?” teased Tendou. “You thought it would be awful. You underestimated me.”

“I never said I thought it wouldn’t be good.”

“You didn’t have to say it. It was all over your face. You thought that first bite was going to kill you.”

Semi scowled at him, but didn’t argue. It was the truth.

“It’s okay, Semi-Semi,” said Tendou, slouching back against the wall next to him. “I get underestimated a lot. Want to watch the next episode now?” 

He grabbed for the laptop, but before he’d even flipped it open Semi said, “Hey, wait. Can we, uh… Talk for a minute?”

Tendou blinked at him. He looked like a startled deer. Slowly he put the laptop aside and tucked his hands beneath his thighs, giving Semi his full attention. “Okay. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” said Semi. “I just, uh…” He trailed off, wishing he hadn’t said anything at all. “I just want to apologize for Saturday.”

Tendou’s eyebrows rose even higher. He hadn’t fixed his hair, and it fell loosely onto his forehead and around his ears. He looked softer that way, less harsh, less unapproachable. Semi had been trying not to think about that, but now that he was looking directly at him, without any sort of social buffer, he couldn’t push the thought away. Tendou looked soft, and so did his hair.

“What are you apologizing for?” said Tendou. “You didn’t do anything.”

“When you were at my place,” said Semi. He looked away, staring down at his jeans. The denim stretched across his right knee was wearing thin. It would probably split open soon. “I should’ve told you about the, uh… religion thing before you got there.”

“That’s okay, Semi-Semi.”

“It’s really not. It’s awkward,” said Semi. He folded his knees and hugged them against his chest. “In Japan, anyway. In a lot of other places, too. I’m used to it because of school, but…” He trailed off and tossed a quick glance to the side. Tendou was watching him, head tilted slightly to the side, attention undivided. Semi looked down again. “It was a catholic boarding school. My dad went there a long time ago, before he moved to Japan. That’s why my mom sent me there. Well, and because I…” He realized he was about to share too much and snapped his mouth shut. “Anyway, that’s why she does the prayer thing. Because my dad always did it, and she decided she wanted to be catholic after they met.”

“It’s fine,” said Tendou. “It didn’t bother me.”

“I’m sorry about the university thing, too,” said Semi. “That was awkward. Thanks for not saying anything to her.”

“No problem.”

Semi expected questions, but Tendou seemed content to leave it at that.

With a sigh, Semi said, “I really am going to Meiji. I already confirmed my enrollment. I haven’t told her yet, though. She wanted me to apply for Bordeau, so I did because I didn’t think I’d get in. But I got an acceptance letter from them so she thinks I’m going there. I’ll have to tell her soon, but she’s going to be mad.”

“Why would she be mad?” asked Tendou. “Meiji is a good school, too.”

“Yeah, but my dad went to Bordeau,” said Semi. “And she thinks it’s better for me there, too. A better environment.”

“Why?”

Semi chewed at his lip for a few seconds before saying, “Just because.”

It was a clear deflection, a very obvious one. He thought Tendou would call him out, but he simply accepted it with a quick nod. 

“Okay then,” said Tendou. “But you really should tell her. The longer you wait, the harder it’s gonna be.”

“I know,” said Semi. He pressed his forehead against his knees. “I will, I just… I’m working up to it.”

“Well if you need moral support I’m here for ya,” said Tendou. He gripped Semi’s shoulder lightly, fleetingly, before pulling away. 

Semi wished he hadn’t let go, then mentally slapped himself for thinking it. “We can watch the next episode of that show,” said Semi, “if you want.”

“If you insist!” said Tendou brightly, snapping open the laptop and settling back. Semi stretched his legs out, and they were sitting so close that their thighs rubbed together.

He glanced over, but Tendou didn’t seem to notice, so Semi didn’t move. 

“This next episode is awesome!” said Tendou. “It’s one of my favorites.”

“Wait. You’ve already seen this?”

“Of course. I’ve watched it at least six times.”

“Then why are we watching it again?”

Tendou tilted his head. “Because I really like it,” he said, “and I want you to see it too.”

Semi’s face felt warm for no reason. He folded his arms, stared at the laptop screen, and felt that maybe this show wasn’t so bad after all.


	4. Chapter 4

Semi woke up little by little, gradually growing aware that he was both very comfortable and very warm. His mind had that strange, fuzzy quality of just waking from a midday nap, the feeling that his life had been briefly on hold and time had stuttered forward without him. He didn’t know what time it was, but the room was bright beyond his eyelids, so he guessed it wasn’t very late.

Something shifted beneath him, and the source of the warmth curled more firmly around his shoulders.

His brows twitched together, eyes still closed, as his foggy brain tried to process his current situation. He didn’t know what would be moving in his bed. They’d had a cat once, when he was in elementary school, but it had died at least a decade ago. His mother shouldn’t have gotten home from work yet, and even if she had, there was no reason for her to come into Semi's room. She would have knocked on his door if she'd needed him. It may or may not have woken him up, considering how heavily he slept.

He breathed in, and the scents around him were unexpected, but not unpleasant. There was a woodsy smell lingering about, like those body wash advertisements that claimed they would make the buyer smell like crisp mountain air. Semi didn’t know if that was the source, but it smelled nice. 

His room had never smelled like that.

With a jolt, he remembered he wasn’t at home.

He sat up abruptly, throwing off Tendou’s arm and flailing away so quickly that he nearly tumbled off the edge of the bed.

Tendou just looked at him, unmoving, eyebrows raised. “Bad dream, Semi-Semi?”

Semi sucked in a breath and pressed a hand to the side of his face. It was warm because it had been pressed against Tendou’s chest. Semi had been curled up against him like a sleepy kitten. 

He was horrified.

“No,” he said, his voice crystal clear despite the dregs of sleep that still sloshed at the corners of his mind, bogging down the speed of his thoughts. “No, I just… I was… _you_ …”

He couldn’t form a complete sentence, but Tendou didn’t seem to mind. He didn’t seem to mind that Semi had just been napping on him, either, which was ridiculous. Tendou should have pushed him away. Tendou should have woken him up and made him leave. He shouldn’t have looked so content, like he’d been on the verge of dozing off himself.

“I have to go,” said Semi. He scrambled off the bed and looked around the room, searching for a clock. There wasn't one, and he patted at his pocket, pulling out his phone just long enough to see that it was already nearing seven o’clock. “Shit.”

“Semi?” said Tendou, his tone uncharacteristically serious. He sat up, his clothes rumpled, hair falling freely into his eyes. He tossed his head to clear his vision. “Is something wrong?”

“I shouldn’t have stayed this long,” said Semi. “I need to get home before mom does.”

“Why?” said Tendou. “Will she be mad you left?”

“Not exactly, but she’ll ask where I was,” said Semi, “and I… I just have to go.”

“Okay,” said Tendou, though he still looked confused. “I’ll walk you out.”

Tendou’s mother was nowhere in sight as they stepped through the small apartment, Tendou leading the way, Semi on his heels. He pulled on his mostly-dry socks, stuffed his feet into his shoes, and almost stumbled over himself as he reached for the door.

“Hey, Semi?”

Semi paused with one foot in the hallway. “Yeah?”

“Practice tomorrow?”

Semi looked over his shoulder at Tendou who, despite his height, looked surprisingly small. He seemed concerned, uncertain, as if he suspected he’d done something wrong and was awaiting some sort of consequence.

Semi wished he wouldn’t be that way. Tendou hadn’t done anything wrong. This was all Semi’s fault, as usual.

“Yeah,” he said, just to try and wipe that look off of Tendou’s face. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Tendou smiled, but it wasn’t his typical grin. It was small and a little shy. 

Semi turned away and headed toward the elevator.

He didn’t know when he’d even fallen asleep. He remembered spending the morning watching anime, and sometime around noon Tendou’s mom had gotten up and made them lunch. They’d gone back to Tendou’s room to watch a movie instead, because Akari – Semi still felt weird calling Tendou’s mom by her given name – had curled up on the couch to watch the tv. He remembered most of the movie, but couldn’t recall exactly how it had ended. He must have drifted off right before the conclusion and had slept for at least a couple of hours. He didn’t understand why. He’d gotten a full night of sleep; he wasn’t tired.

Maybe it was because he’d just been so _comfortable_.

But that wasn’t something he should be thinking about. 

He walked back home quickly and was a little out of breath by the time he made it to the condo. He shoved the door open, stepped inside, and went completely still to listen. There was nothing to hear. Everything was still and silent.

His shoulders sagged in relief. He was suddenly very grateful that his mother always worked late. He kicked off his shoes, moved to arrange them near the wall, and froze. His mother's shoes were already there.

“Eita?” she called from further inside the condo. 

His stomach sank. He dropped his shoes but still didn’t move. He needed to think of something to say, and his brain was spinning for a solution, but it was just going in endless, vacant loops.

“Eita, is that you?” 

“Yeah,” he said. It was too quiet, so he raised his voice. “Yeah, it’s me.” He braced himself and walked down the hallway, feeling as if he was walking to his own death.

His mother was waiting with a bag of takeout on the kitchen table. Her purse was still on her shoulder, as if she’d just arrived. 

Five minutes. If Semi had made it there five minutes faster he may have been alright. 

“Did you just get home?” she said.

“Oh, uh… yeah, I did. Sorry.”

A crease appeared between her brows. “Is everything okay? It’s late.”

“Yeah, everything is fine,” he said. He couldn’t quite look at her. “Thanks for bringing dinner.”

“Where have you been?”

“I was, uh… at a friend’s house. I didn’t realize it was this late, sorry.”

“At a friend’s house,” she repeated. She was staring at him. Semi wasn’t looking directly at her, but he could feel it. “Which friend?”

It was a pointless question. She already knew.

Semi answered anyway.

“Tendou.”

The silence stretched on a little too long and Semi finally raised his head. She was looking at him, frowning slightly, her face reflecting concern.

“Why?”

The question was simple, but Semi felt the weight of it. He felt all the things she didn’t say, her silent thoughts and creeping suspicions. 

“He’s just my friend, mom,” said Semi. He slipped his hands into his pockets and balled them into fists. “That’s it.”

_That’s what you said about Riku-kun in middle school, wasn’t it, Eita? He was just your friend. You spent all of your time with him because he was your friend. He came over to visit you nearly every day because he was your friend. I don’t think you know what friendship means, Eita. Clearly there’s something wrong with you, clearly-_

Semi bit his lip so hard that it hurt. His mother only looked at him, wordless, but still he heard her voice in the back of his head. He knew that if he’d been telepathic, those would have been the exact thoughts he would have pulled from her brain.

Instead of the wounding thoughts whirling in Semi’s head, what his mother actually said was, “I got ramen from the shop on the corner. Would you get us some water?”

He nodded and nearly tripped over himself in his haste to get to the refrigerator. When he sat down at the table a minute later, sliding a glass in front of his mom, his chest was still tight with tension. 

The conversation wasn’t over. It couldn’t be that easy.

Sure enough, before they’d started eating, she said, “There are only a few weeks left until you’ll be flying back to France.” She spoke quietly, but the words still struck Semi as if she’d been yelling. “You’ll be there for four years, and by the time you get back, I doubt any of the friends you’ve made over the summer will even remember you. It’s best not to get attached. It will only lead to disappointment later.” 

Semi nodded, eyes stuck to the table. 

That would have been a good time to mention that he wasn’t going back to France.

He didn’t. 

“Let’s pray,” said his mother, folding her hands in front of her. “Ask for guidance and good judgment.”

Semi bit his lip again. He closed his eyes, but instead of praying like his mother told him to, like all of his teachers at boarding school had always told him to, he used the quiet moment to try and calm himself down. His heart was beating too quickly, pattering loudly in his ears, and his skin felt too hot. He thought of how warm he’d been curled up with Tendou and immediately expelled the memory. He couldn’t think about that; not now, not ever. 

He pretended to pray, and when his mother raised her head, they ate dinner together without another word. 

He went to bed at the same time as usual, but he laid awake for a long while, trying not to think about how warm Tendou’s bed had been compared to his own, empty cold one.

  
  
  
  
  
Semi went to the park the following morning. He didn’t want to be left with only his own thoughts for company, and he’d told Tendou the day before that he would be there. Tendou was already sitting at the edge of the court, re-lacing his shoes. When he glanced up and caught sight of Semi, his face suggested a blend of surprise and relief. He grinned, and Semi’s mouth twitched in response. 

Tendou seemed more careful around him, in a way. Semi picked up on it here and there, when Tendou would hesitate before teasing him, and even then keep his words light. Semi wasn’t sure why he was acting that way. He could only assume it had something to do with Semi falling asleep on him. Maybe it had made Tendou uncomfortable, though he hadn’t seemed that way the day before. 

At least Tendou was still speaking to him, so it couldn’t have been that bad. 

It was Thursday, but since they’d been rained out the day before, their weekly lunch at Goshiki’s place had been postponed. Again, Semi thought about slipping away and heading home, but Goshiki approached him with large, eager eyes and asked if he was going again.

It was impossible to say no to him. It would be the moral equivalency of kicking a small puppy.

He ended up in the Goshiki family kitchen once more, this time squished between Tendou and Shirabu, who was smaller yet less accommodating than Ushijima. Each time Semi accidentally leaned too far into Shirabu’s space, he received a sidelong glare that had him retreating. He ended up sitting closer to Tendou than was socially acceptable, but Tendou didn’t seem to mind, and no one spared them a second glance.

“Hey, Semi-Semi?”

“Yeah?” 

Tendou glanced past Semi, then leaned in a little closer. He spoke quietly. “I know it’s only Thursday, but my mom always cooks dinner on Sundays and she wanted to know if you want to come over.”

It was the careful Tendou again, a confusing contrast to the bundle of noise and energy that Semi had met a few weeks before. 

Semi still didn’t know why he was being that way, but he was becoming more certain that it wasn’t anything that he’d done. If so, Tendou wouldn’t have been inviting him over. He definitely wouldn’t have let Semi sit that close to him, so close that their knees bumped together whenever either of them moved.

He wanted to agree. He thought he liked Tendou’s mom, and he definitely liked Tendou. 

Then he thought about his own mother, and having to tell her that he was skipping one of the days they got to spend together because he was spending it with Tendou instead.

“Sorry,” said Semi, looking down at the table so he wouldn’t have to see Tendou’s reaction. “I have dinner with my mom on the weekends. They're the only days we get to see each other. Tell your mom I said thanks, though. I appreciate the offer.”

He braced himself for potential disappointment, but Tendou accepted the refusal easily.

“That’s fine,” he said, twirling his chopsticks between long fingers. “Mom is always home on Sundays, but she gets another night or two off on weekdays most of the time. Maybe a different night sometime?”

Semi smiled a little, relieved. “Yeah, a different night would be good.”

“She likes you,” said Tendou. “My mom, I mean. She said you’re sweet.”

Semi’s cheeks warmed for no apparent reason. He took another bite and noticed Shirabu’s head tilt slightly in his direction, as if he’d been listening in. 

Semi tried to ignore him. Of all Tendou’s friends, Shirabu seemed the most difficult to get along with. They’d never even had a full conversation, but that was fine. Semi wasn’t bothered.

Tendou inched just a little closer. “She also said you’re cute,” he muttered, so quietly that even Shirabu wouldn’t have been able to overhear.

Semi choked on his rice and Tendou cackled. 

  
  
  
  
  
They didn’t have a match set up for Saturday, so they just had practice as usual. Semi had gotten into the routine so well that he felt he was playing better here than he’d ever played in high school. His movements were quick, his tosses were accurate, and since there were only four players on each side of the net, he’d been forced to work on his receives. 

If he ever played with a full team again, it would take time for him to adjust to the two extra players. He wasn’t much worried about that. He doubted he would ever play seriously again.

“Left, Semi-Semi!” called Tendou, his gangly legs carrying him toward the net. 

Semi’s shoes scuffed against the court as he positioned himself, arms overhead. The ball was a familiar texture against his fingertips as he tossed it in Tendou’s direction.

The trajectory was perfect, and the ball hurtled over the net.

Tendou whooped as he landed, but Semi’s muscles were still coiled, waiting, as Goshiki dove across the court.

The ball sprang upward, barely saved, and arced toward the net, where Reon was waiting. 

“Tendou!” snapped Semi. “Shut up and pay attention!”

Tendou looked over at him, wide-eyed, and then turned his head just as Reon leaped into the air.

Tendou started to move, but Reon was in the direct center of the court, and Semi knew he would be too late to save it.

Semi launched himself forward, a reckless rush toward the probable point of impact, his thighs burning as he ran. 

He spun toward the net, planted his feet, and braced himself for the receive.

But Reon had been faster than he’d expected, and the ball was already barreling toward him, so quickly that it was only a blur.

Semi tried to move out of the way. He really did. 

But he only managed to turn his face slightly to the side, which was likely the only reason his nose didn’t shatter.

The spike slammed into the side of his face, and it felt as if he’d been slapped by the hand of god himself.

The force sent him reeling backward, the breath knocked out of him as he crashed against the court. His head bounced, the dull impact throbbing at the back of his skull, but it was nothing compared to the pounding pain on the side of his face. It pulsed and burned and ached, and that was all Semi could feel or think. For a few horrifying seconds nothing else existed and he feared he’d lost all of his senses completely.

Then there was a voice in his ear and a hand on his shoulder, the first urgent, the second gentle.

“Semi!” Tendou’s long fingers squeezed, but lightly. “Shit. Are you okay? Are you conscious? Open your eyes and talk to me, Semi-Semi.”

That, at least, explained why he couldn’t see. He forced his eyes open, and the sunlight glaring into his face made him wince. Tendou leaned over him, creating shade. 

“Can you see me?” said Tendou. “Can you hear me? Say something.”

There was motion beyond Tendou, dark blurs that were probably Kawanishi and Yamagata, who were on their team. Semi didn’t try to make out their faces. He only focused on Tendou, who appeared on the brink of panic.

“I’m fine,” said Semi. His voice sounded a little off, but he thought that may have only been because of the pounding in his head. He raised a hand and pressed his fingers against the side of his face, flinching from the pressure. “Ow.”

Tendou gently took his hand and pushed it away. “Don’t touch it. You’re bleeding a little. It’s not bad though, so don’t freak out.”

Semi squinted up at him. “You’re the one freaking out.”

Tendou stared back at him, eyes wider than Semi had ever seen them. 

Someone knelt on Semi’s other side, and he was unsurprised to see Reon.

“I’m so sorry,” said Reon, brow creased in concern. “I shouldn’t have hit it that hard, I didn’t know-”

“Don’t,” said Semi. “It’s my fault. I misjudged it. Just help me up and I’ll-”

“Hang on,” said Reon. He spread a broad hand over Semi’s chest, pinning him down. “Don’t get up yet. You might have a concussion.”

Semi huffed. “I don’t have a concussion,” he said. It was a little difficult to think through the pulsing pain in his head, but he was aware enough to know that there was no lasting damage. He’d been hit harder than this during a match before. 

He was just grateful it had been Reon’s spike and not Ushijima’s. That might’ve killed him.

Reon gently gripped his chin and nudged his head to the side. Semi rolled with the motion, staring blankly at Tendou’s knees as Reon inspected him.

“It must’ve hit so hard that it broke the skin,” said Reon. “Just barely though, there’s only a drop or two of blood. It’s probably going to bruise pretty badly, though. Sorry, Semi.”

“Stop apologizing for my mistake,” said Semi.

Reon’s hand dropped away and Semi looked up at him again. 

“His eyes look normal,” said Reon, his gaze slipping back and forth as he looked between them. “He’s probably okay. You remember everything, right? You didn’t lose consciousness at all?”

“No, I’m really fine.”

“Here, Tendou, let’s help him sit up.”

Semi didn’t think he needed their help, but didn’t protest as they gripped his shoulders and eased him upright. The court spun on its axis, slipping sideways and doing a complete twirl before settling back into place. Goshiki was on the other side of the net, standing exactly where he’d been after he’d received Tendou’s spike. It looked like he was frozen there, staring at Semi in mild horror.

Tendou edged closer, and Semi looked at him instead.

“Do you feel okay, Semi-Semi?” he asked, his voice low. He was even paler than usual. “Are you nauseous? Dizzy?”

“No, Tendou, I’m fine.”

“What about your vision?” he said. “Is anything blurry? Can you see okay?”

“I can see just fine.”

“What about-”

“I’ve had a concussion before,” snapped Semi. “I know what it feels like. I said I’m fine, okay?” 

Tendou winced a little, and Semi immediately felt guilty.

“Really,” said Semi, more gently. “I feel okay. My face hurts, but that just means it was a really good spike.”

Beside him, Reon made a strangled sound.

“Will you help me up?” said Semi, reaching out. “Let me just sit in the grass for a few minutes and I’ll be fine.”

Tendou looked to Reon, almost as if requesting permission. He climbed back to his feet, took Semi’s hand, and carefully pulled him upright. 

Semi’s first step was more of a stumble, but Tendou’s grip on his shoulder steadied him. He walked to the edge of the court without incident and there was no more spinning. Everything remained stationary as he carefully lowered himself to the grass.

Tendou plopped down beside him, probably closer than was necessary.

Semi didn’t mind.

“You alright?” called Yamagata from mid-court. He wiped his forehead with his sleeve, eyeing Semi with a frown.

Semi nodded, and though multiple reassurances hadn’t been good enough for Tendou, that seemed to be good enough for everyone else.

Reon ducked beneath the net to join the other side and they resumed the game as a three-on-three match. Semi told Tendou he could rejoin practice, but Tendou only shrugged and stayed where he was.

Tendou looked at him every minute or so, but Semi ignored him.

As practice was winding down, Tendou nudged him and said, “You sure you’re okay, Semi-Semi?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s already bruising, ya know. It’s gonna be worse tomorrow.”

“Great,” mumbled Semi. “Good to know.”

“I’m sorry,” said Tendou, finally looking away. He stared off across the court, where the guys had started on their cool-down stretches. 

“For what?”

“That was my ball,” said Tendou. “If I’d been paying attention you wouldn’t have tried to get it.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“But it is,” argued Tendou. “If you hadn’t been covering for me-”

“Shut up,” said Semi, a bit too abruptly. “I said it’s not your fault. Yeah, I was covering for you, but that’s what teammates do. I’d do the same thing again, whether I got hit in the face or not.”

He glanced up to find Tendou already staring at him. He held his gaze, noticing the sweat that soaked the hair at Tendou’s temples, the barely-there freckles on his nose, and the light flush across his cheeks.

“Yo, Semi!” 

Reluctantly, Semi looked back toward the court to find Yamagata jogging closer. 

“You sure you’re okay?” asked Yamagata, dropping into a crouch. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” said Semi. “Thanks.”

Yamagata grinned. “No problem. That would’ve been an awesome receive if you’d been a couple steps back. You’ve got some good reflexes. You know, other than the part where you took a spike to the face.”

Semi snorted. It made his face throb. “Yeah, thanks.”

“Don’t let that keep you away,” said Yamagata, springing back to his feet. “See you Monday?”

“Yeah, sure,” said Semi. “See you.”

Yamagata departed with a wave. Most of the others checked in on Semi before they left, with the exception of Kawanishi and Shirabu. Semi didn’t take that personally. Kawanishi didn’t seem like the social type, and he felt that Shirabu didn’t like him much anyway.

Tendou offered to help Semi up, and though Semi was perfectly capable of standing by himself, he still accepted Tendou’s helping hand.

They made their way through the park together, and Semi was acutely aware of Tendou staring at the injured side of his face.

Instead of breaking away and heading in opposite directions at the gate, Tendou paused and said, “Can I walk you home?”

“What?”

“Just to make one-hundred percent sure you’re okay,” said Tendou. “That way if you pass out and die you’ll at least be at home instead of on the street.”

Semi rolled his eyes. “Thanks a lot.”

“Anything for you, Semi-Semi,” said Tendou brightly.

The walk to Semi’s condo reminded him of the week before, when he’d invited Tendou over for dinner. It was nearing lunchtime, and he wished he could ask him to stay for a meal again, but knew it wasn’t the best idea. His mother had already made her opinions about Semi’s friendships quite clear. She was likely displeased enough that he’d gone to practice that morning, but he’d justified that with the pretense of wanting to stay in shape. 

There wasn’t a good reason for having Tendou over; not one that he could tell his mother, at least.

He feared there would be some awkwardness when they reached his condo if Tendou was expecting an invitation inside. When they arrived, Tendou simply grinned at him and said, “Text me later so I know you’re still alive, alright? If you start feeling weird go to the doctor.”

“I’ve already got a mom,” said Semi flatly, though he couldn’t stop the twitch of his smile. “I don’t need another one.”

“Friends can care too, ya know,” said Tendou. “Just take care of yourself, alright? I’ll see you Monday.”

“Yeah, okay,” said Semi. “See you.”

Tendou waved and turned on his heel, heading off in the opposite direction. Walking Semi home had added a good half hour to his walk home; maybe more. 

It was only an inconvenience for Tendou, yet Semi appreciated his company and concern.

He hadn’t had friends like Tendou at boarding school, friends that genuinely cared. It had all been procedure and tradition there; speaking only when cordiality demanded it, shying away from personal questions, and keeping each other at a safe distance. 

It was nice to have someone he could talk to without worrying he was going to slip up and say something wrong.

His spirits were high as he let himself into the condo. His mother was on the couch, and he offered her a quick greeting, intending to head straight to the shower.

That plan was put on hold.

“Eita! What happened to your face?”

He stopped in his tracks, tasting dread on the back of his tongue. He’d forgotten all about the injury. Now that he was reminded, his face gave a dull throb. 

“It’s nothing, mom,” he said, as she lurched off of the couch and hastened closer. “Just an accident. It’s not bad.”

“There’s dried blood on your face, Eita!”

He’d forgotten about that part, too.

“It’s fine,” he said, taking a step back to avoid her reaching fingers. “I misjudged a receive. It looks worse than it was. It didn’t hit me that hard.”

That was a mild lie, but it sounded reassuring.

She dropped her hand, fingers curling slightly at her side as she studied him. Her expression was closed off and Semi didn’t know what she was thinking until she spoke.

“I’m not so sure you should keep playing volleyball.”

Semi sucked in a breath, and it felt serrated. 

“Clearly it’s dangerous, Eita. This could have been serious. What if you’d gotten a concussion? What if you’d broken something?”

“It’s not a big deal,” he said. He heard the edge of distress in his own voice. “There’s always a chance of getting hurt with sports. Compared to some of the others, volleyball isn’t that bad.”

“It looks bad.”

“I’ve been hurt way worse than this before,” he insisted. “This is practically nothing.”

“Worse?” his mother repeated, her voice pitching higher. “You’ve had _worse_ and you’re still playing?”

“I like volleyball, mom.”

“Clearly it doesn’t like you.”

“I said it’s not that bad.” He turned away and started down the hall, toward the bathroom. He heard footsteps behind him but didn’t stop until his mother again spoke.

“I didn’t know it was this dangerous,” she said, “or I would’ve made you stop playing ages ago. You never got hurt in middle school.”

Semi stopped. He bit his lip and told himself to stay quiet. He should just walk away and keep his mouth shut, he should just-

He turned and snapped, “Yeah, well, I did in high school. You missed it since you shipped me off to France. If you’d let me stay here maybe you’d know something about it.”

She looked shocked, hurt, but Semi couldn’t make himself care. He stomped away again, locked himself in the bathroom, and tried to wash his temper down the drain.

It didn’t work.


	5. Chapter 5

Semi went to bed in a foul mood. The next morning he didn’t remember exactly what he dreamed. He only recalled the feelings that had been tied into the forgotten flashes of his nightscapes: uncertainty, dread, and simmering resentment. 

When he woke up he felt better, and he shook off the remnants of those feelings easily.

Until he caught sight of himself in a mirror and his mood was kicked off of a cliff.

Reon hadn’t been wrong. The bruising had gotten worse, much worse than Semi had expected.

The entire right side of his face was discolored, from the corner of his eye to the edge of his jaw. It was a nauseating mix of blues and purples, intersected by a small cut at the point of impact. It was glaring and ugly and Semi just wanted to crawl back into bed until it faded away.

But the smell of breakfast crept in beneath the closed bathroom door, and he knew that wasn’t an option.

He dressed, dragged himself into the kitchen, and quietly sat at the table, murmuring a low, “Good morning, mom.”

“Good morning, Eita,” she replied, glancing at him over her shoulder before turning back to the cooktop. 

Two seconds slipped by before she spun around again, the spatula in her hand clattering to the floor. She gaped at Semi, horrified. “Eita!”

Semi lowered his head and wished his hair was a little longer. Maybe then he could cover up at least part of the bruising. “Yeah, I know. It’s not as bad as it looks.”

She kicked the spatula halfway across the room in her haste to crowd closer. She gripped Semi’s chin and tipped his face back, studying the damage with dismay. “It looks awful! It didn’t look good last night, but _now_ …”

Semi turned his head to the side, twisting out of her grip. “Stop.”

“How can you act like this isn’t a big deal?” she said. “You look like you were in a fight!”

“I wasn’t.”

“I know that, but it still looks that way, Eita. Anyone who passed by you on the street would think-”

“I don’t care, mom,” said Semi, cutting her off. “It’s not anyone’s business.”

She stared at him for a while longer, so intently that Semi had to force himself not to fidget. At length she stepped back, retrieved the spatula from the floor, and rinsed it off in the sink. 

Without her hawk-like eyes drilling into him, Semi breathed a sigh and relaxed a little. His mother resumed her cooking, and a few minutes later his phone buzzed with an incoming text.

It was from Tendou. Semi wasn’t surprised, but he was pleased.

_Good morning, Semi-Semi! Did you make it through the night or should I dress in black today to mourn you?_

Semi snorted and injected his reply with the perfect amount of sarcasm.

“What’s funny, Eita?”

He blinked up, surprised to find his mother eyeing him as she adjusted the heat of the cooktop.

“Nothing,” he muttered, looking back down at his phone. “Just something Tendou said.”

Her mouth pressed into a flat line, but she asked no more questions.

Breakfast passed without further incident. The air between them was still tense, but it was gradually becoming lighter. Semi thought maybe things were going to be okay. 

A short while later they went to buy groceries, and while Semi was only vaguely aware of people tossing him curious glances, it seemed his mother was more mindful of the attention.

She waited until they returned home before mentioning it, because she’d always shied away from public attention.

Once they were alone, however, those reservations disappeared.

Semi had often found that the best way to deal with his mother’s outbursts was to wait them out. If he let her finish, she would usually be satisfied and let the subject drop. That’s what he tried to do this time, but it wasn’t quite that easy.

“…and who knows how long this is going to last,” she said, gesturing at his face. Her voice had risen, and though she wasn’t shouting, it was much louder than her normal volume. “It looks horrendous, Eita.” She’d already said something similar at least four times. “The people at the shop probably think I beat you.”

“I doubt that,” said Semi. “You’re smaller than me.”

“That isn’t funny.”

“It wasn't supposed to be.”

“You’ve gotten an attitude lately,” she said. “You didn’t used to be this way, not when you were still in school. It’s a good thing you’re going back soon. I think those friends you’ve made are a bad influence on you. They haven’t been as fortunate as you have, Eita. Your education sets you apart from them.”

Semi just stared at her. That was so ridiculous that he almost couldn’t scrape together a response. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“If you’re associating with people who live like that, then of course you will-”

“ _Like that?_ ” repeated Semi. “What do you mean, _like that?_ ”

“That isn’t the point,” she said, waving him off. “I don’t want to argue with you. I’m just grateful that your semester starts in a few weeks, that’s all.”

“So I’ll be gone again?”

“Don’t say things like that,” she snapped. “Of course that isn’t the reason.”

“Why else would you want me to go there?” said Semi. “There are lots of good universities here in Tokyo.”

Like Meiji, for example.

“Bordeau is a better opportunity for you than the schools here,” she said. “It will look great on your resume. Besides, you have dual citizenship. You may decide to live in France permanently someday. A French education will benefit you.”

“But what if I want to live here?”

“You can live wherever you like, Eita,” she said. “I just want you to have the option. You made the right choice with Bordeau. That’s all I’m trying to say.”

That would have been the perfect time to broach the subject of his university plans. She was already frustrated with him; it was best to lay all of his cards on the table at once and brace for impact.

The words were on his tongue, sour with anxiety, but he couldn’t say them.

“You’ll find better friends back there, anyway,” said his mother, bustling around the kitchen as she put away the groceries. “Ones that are worth associating with.”

Semi’s anxiety vanished. In its place rose scarlet ire. 

“There is nothing,” he said through his teeth, “wrong with my friends.”

“There’s no need to get defensive,” she said. "You've barely known them for a month."

“And you’ve only met one of them, one time,” said Semi. “You don’t have any room to judge them.”

“I’m not judging, Eita. I’m only saying that you’ll forget about these quick summer friendships as soon as you start school again.” She paused with one hand on the refrigerator door. “But you can’t deny the one you brought here was a bit strange.”

Semi’s hands were already shoved deep into his pockets. They curled into fists and his nails bit against his palms. “There’s nothing wrong with Tendou.”

The sharp tone of his voice made her turn. “I didn’t say there was, Eita. I’m only trying to make the point that you’ll find better friends at Bordeau.”

Semi wanted to snap back at her. He wanted to shout that he didn’t want better friends. He wanted to tell her that the ones he’d made over the summer, even Kawanishi, even Shirabu, were more valuable to him than anyone he’d met at boarding school. He wanted to tell her that Tendou might be the best friend he’d ever had, even though they’d only known each other for a month. He wanted to tell her how impossible it had been to connect with anyone in France, and how that was entirely her fault for sending him there.

He wanted to say many things, but all of them would have ended in a fight.

Semi kept the bitter words to himself, biting his lip to make sure they didn’t slip out without his consent. 

She studied him from across the room, and as her eyes dipped down to again take in the bruising on his face, her brow creased in clear disapproval.

That was all he could take. 

Semi turned on his heel and stomped toward his room, anger buzzing in his blood like hornets. His name was shouted after him, but he ignored it. He grabbed the hoodie off the end of his bed and the keys off of his desk before wheeling around and stomping back into the hallway. His mother stood in the kitchen doorway, a bottle of seasoning in her hand.

“What are you doing?” she asked, as Semi stormed past.

“I’m going to Tendou’s,” he said. “Don’t bother cooking dinner. I’ll eat there.”

She said something as he stepped into his shoes and flung open the door. He didn’t hear the words, but the tone was unmistakable: concern, confusion, _disappointment_.

It should have made Semi feel something, should have made him turn around and apologize, but it didn’t.

He started down the street, heading south toward the block of apartments in which Tendou lived, slipping out his phone as he walked.

Tendou answered on the third ring with a bright, “Heya, Semi-Semi!”

“Can I still come over?” said Semi, without preamble. “For dinner, I mean. You invited me a couple days ago. If I can’t it’s fine.”

“Of course you can!” said Tendou. “That would be great. Hang on – hey, mom!”

There was a distant mumble, distinctly female. 

“Semi said he’s coming over!” said Tendou, still too loudly.

Semi held the phone away from his ear.

There was another mumble, then Tendou returned to his normal speaking voice. “She said it’s okay! I already knew she would, though. I told you she likes you.”

“I’m glad someone does,” said Semi, thinking of the way his mother had looked at him in the kitchen.

There was a brief pause. Tendou said, “Are you okay?”

Semi sighed, regretting that he’d said anything. He dodged a man carrying a stack of boxes, almost tripped off the edge of the curb, and reoriented himself back onto his half of the sidewalk. “Yeah, I’m good. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Okay,” said Tendou, though he still sounded uncertain. “I’ll see you soon.”

Semi returned the phone to his pocket. His hoodie was slung over his shoulder, but he might need it when the sun went down. The nights weren’t freezing, but they’d been cool. 

And Semi didn’t plan to go home until his mother was in bed, so he wouldn’t have to speak to her again for the rest of the day. If Tendou wanted him to leave before then, he felt confident that he could find something – anything – to do rather than going home.

He knocked on the apartment door fifteen minutes later. 

Much like his mother’s morning greeting, the first thing Tendou did was stare at Semi’s face.

Unlike his mother, Tendou’s reaction was a slight wince, followed by a grin. “You look rough, Semi-Semi.” He stepped back and allowed Semi inside. “Does it hurt? It looks like it hurts.”

Semi realized, only then, that his mother hadn’t asked him a single time if the injury was painful.

“No,” he said quietly. “It doesn’t hurt.”

Tendou looked at him with such obvious concern that Semi had to turn his head.

“Where’s your mom?” asked Semi, glancing around the kitchen.

“She went out to buy stuff for dinner,” said Tendou. 

“You didn’t go with her?”

“I was waiting for you.”

“Oh,” said Semi. He pulled his hoodie off of his shoulder and folded it, just to have something to do with his hands. “You didn’t have to.”

“I know. C’mon, let’s go to my room. I started watching a new show last night. You’ll love it.”

Semi wasn’t so sure about that, but he didn’t argue as he followed Tendou through the tiny apartment.

Half an hour later they were piled up on Tendou’s bed much like they’d been the week before, during Semi’s first visit. The difference was that this time Semi found himself actually developing interest in the anime Tendou had picked out. They’d started about four episodes in, so he wasn’t completely sure what was happening, but he’d picked up on enough to be engrossed in the plot as the main character confronted one of his primary adversaries.

He was so immersed that he didn’t notice Tendou wasn’t even watching it.

“Hey, Semi-Semi?”

The voice was closer than Semi had expected. He turned his head to find Tendou only a breath away, so close that he had to lean back a little to see his entire face. “Huh?”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” said Semi. He blinked, glanced down at Tendou’s lips, then shifted his gaze back to the screen. “I told you it doesn’t hurt.”

“I don’t mean that,” said Tendou. He shifted a little, and his leg brushed against Semi’s. “You just seem sorta bothered. Sad, maybe.”

“I’m fine.”

The next few minutes passed in silence. Semi would have thought Tendou had dropped the subject if he hadn’t still felt him staring.

He was on the verge of snapping at him to stop when Tendou said, “I don’t think you’re fine.”

Semi glanced to the side. Tendou was frowning at him, and Semi found that he greatly preferred Tendou’s smiles. 

“It’s just been a rough day,” said Semi. “I’ll get over it.”

“We can talk about it,” said Tendou quietly, “if you want.”

“There’s not much to talk about,” said Semi with a shrug. “My mom just… I don’t know. It’s just hard dealing with her sometimes. She doesn’t get it.”

“Doesn’t get what?”

“Me,” said Semi flatly. “She thinks she knows what I want to do and who I want to be. Which is kind of pretentious for her to assume since I haven’t lived with her since she shipped me off to boarding school.” He heard the bitterness in his own voice. Typically he would have toned it down, would have minded his words, but it was easy to be honest with Tendou.

Semi sighed and sank further into the nest of pillows. He stared at the laptop screen, and though he’d been absorbed in the show five minutes before, he could no longer focus on a single word.

For a short while, there was silence. They simply existed in the same space, which was comfortable despite Semi’s current mood. His indignation had dulled since his arrival at Tendou’s. He had a good guess what the cause of that was.

When Tendou spoke, his voice was quiet, almost gentle. “So you didn’t want to go to France?”

Semi chewed at his lip, arms folded tightly over his chest. He’d never talked about this with anyone. He didn’t think he ever should.

He spared Tendou another glance and found only concern reflected in his wide eyes.

“No,” he said without thinking. “I didn’t want to go.”

“Why’d she make you?”

“During my last year of middle school I got into some, uh… trouble,” said Semi vaguely. It was almost the truth. “She decided it would be best for me to have a new environment. A _religious_ environment. She thought it would fix me.”

Tendou smiled, softly. “Did it?”

Despite himself, Semi smiled a little, too. “No.”

Tendou’s grin broadened. He leaned into Semi, pressing against him from shoulder to hip, his body warm. “Good. I like you the way you are, Semi-Semi. I don’t think anything about you needs to be fixed.”

A hot flush bloomed across Semi’s face. He ducked his head and looked away. 

“So what about your dad?” said Tendou, more serious. “Was he around then, or was he already…?”

“He died the year before,” said Semi. He crossed his arms more tightly and curled his fingers into his sleeves. “I like to think he would’ve let me stay in Japan, but I don’t know. It’s more likely he would’ve agreed with her, since he’s the reason she’s religious in the first place.”

Tendou didn’t say anything, and Semi tried, once more, to watch the show. 

It was impossible.

Instead he said, carefully, “What about your dad?”

Tendou shrugged. “I don’t have one.”

Semi had already guessed that. “Is he… did he, umm… die?”

“I don’t know,” said Tendou, unaffected. “It’s possible, I guess. I don’t remember him, and my mom hasn’t talked to him in about sixteen years, so she doesn’t know, either.”

“Oh,” said Semi. “I shouldn’t have asked. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” said Tendou, lightly bumping him with an elbow. “Doesn’t bother me. I never needed a dad. I think I turned out alright without one.”

“Yeah,” said Semi, mouth twitching with a smile. “I think you did.”

There was a tap on the door. From beyond, Tendou’s mom said, “Satori? Is Eita here?”

“Yeah, he’s here!” called Tendou. 

Semi tensed up as the door cracked open. He expected Tendou to move back to his side of the bed and quietly panicked when he didn’t.

Tendou’s mom – Akari, he reminded himself – was unfazed by their closeness. She smiled broadly at them, and it was so reminiscent of Tendou’s grins that Semi was briefly disoriented. 

“I’m glad you could come over, Eita!” she said brightly. “Dinner will be ready in a little while. In the meantime, would you like an ice pack for your face? Satori said you took a good hit yesterday and I see he wasn’t exaggerating.”

“That’s not necessary,” said Semi. “Thank you, Akari-san.”

She tilted her head slightly, considering him. She said, “I’m going to get you one, anyway. It’ll help the bruising go down faster. Let me know if you need anything else, alright?”

She backed out of the room before Semi could respond, pulling the door shut with a click.

“I told you,” said Tendou, singsong. “She likes you. If you’re not careful she may try to adopt you.”

Semi snorted. “I doubt that.”

Tendou tilted his head, a perfect mimicry of the way Akari had done only a minute before. He reached out and traced a fingertip along Semi’s jaw, gentle and fleeting.

Semi went stiff, breath stalling in his lungs, the lingering heat beneath his cheeks building into an inferno.

“I think you’re lying,” said Tendou. “It’s gotta hurt. Just _look_ at it.”

“It’s fine,” said Semi. He moved to slap Tendou’s hand away, but there was no force behind the motion. He simply pushed at Tendou’s wrist, pinning it to the slim slice of mattress between them. “Don’t touch it.”

“Why not?” said Tendou with a teasing grin. “Because it hurts?”

Semi scowled at him and didn’t answer.

He only realized a few belated seconds later that his hand was resting on top of Tendou’s.

He looked down, staring at Tendou’s pale fingers beneath his own shorter ones. A storm of anxiety and dread and cautious hope warred in his chest as he slowly raised his eyes to meet Tendou’s.

Tendou looked back, his calm composure at odds with the panic fluttering in Semi’s chest.

“You okay?” said Tendou, his voice low.

Semi nodded, because he didn’t know what to say, or if he could even speak. 

Tendou turned his hand over, moving slowly, so Semi could pull away if he wanted.

He didn’t want to.

Tendou slipped his fingers between Semi’s, curling their hands together. They fit neatly, comfortably, as if they belonged there.

Semi’s pulse pattered in his ears. His mouth was dry and he was breathing a little too fast. He should have pulled away, he knew he should, but he didn’t.

He didn’t want to pull away, not from Tendou.

He also didn’t want to acknowledge that he’d been thinking about this, wondering if it would ever happen, debating what he would do if it ever did.

He’d never decided for sure, because those thoughts had always stayed in the back of his mind. He’d never allowed himself to really consider them because he wasn’t supposed to. He wasn’t supposed to sit this close to someone, or hold their hand, or get that strange butterfly-wing twist in his stomach whenever they looked at him.

He wasn’t supposed to do any of those things. Not with a boy.

The door opened again, this time without warning, and Semi snatched his hand back like he’d been burned.

“Here you go, dear,” announced Akari. She stepped into the room, so focused on tucking a bag of ice into the folds of a towel that she didn’t notice the sudden motion, or Semi’s residual embarrassment. “Just hold it on your face for about twenty minutes. It’ll help. I’m not a doctor, but Satori has hurt himself so often over the years that I feel like I’m almost qualified.”

Semi mumbled a thank you as he took it from her. He immediately pressed it to the side of his face, hoping it would cool down his scalding flush. 

Tendou still hadn’t put any distance between them. 

Akari either didn’t notice their closeness or didn’t mind.

“I’ll call you for dinner in a little while,” she said brightly, smiling at the pair of them. “Satori, dear, just because you like anime doesn’t mean everyone does. Let Eita choose.”

“He likes this!” said Tendou, affronted. “Right, Semi-Semi?”

“Yeah, it’s, uh… it’s good,” he stammered, not looking at either of them.

“Okay then,” said Akari. “Enjoy your cartoons.”

“It’s not a cartoon!” said Tendou.

Akari winked at him, gave Semi a gentle smile, and left them alone again.

Semi exhaled, relieved. He pressed the ice pack against his face so hard that it stung and pointedly avoided Tendou’s stare.

“Hey,” said Tendou after a moment, gently nudging him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re a bad liar.”

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.” He shifted, pulling his knees closer and consequently inching a little further from Tendou.

He watched the laptop again, and for a while, he thought the uncomfortable conversation would die out.

Out of nowhere, Tendou said, “I came out to my mom when I was thirteen.”

Semi’s heartbeat stuttered. He looked up at Tendou, horrified. He wanted to think he’d misheard. Tendou couldn’t just _say_ something like that, like it was completely normal, like he wasn’t terrified to talk about it.

“I was a little nervous,” continued Tendou, “but there was no reason to be. She looked at me all serious and said, ‘I know, Satori. I’ve known since you were six years old.’” He laughed and pulled his knees up to his chest, looping long arms around them. He rested the side of his face on his kneecaps, peering up at Semi. “You don’t have to say anything. We don’t have to talk about it. I just want you to know that you don’t have to worry about it. Not here. There’s nothing wrong with it, you know? It’s normal. No matter what anyone else says.” 

Semi didn’t look at him. He couldn’t. He was grateful for the ice pack covering his face.

“I won’t mention it again,” said Tendou, “because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. But if you ever want to talk about it, we can. Anytime, okay? Even if you… even if you don’t like me like that, it’s fine. We’re still friends. I’ll still be here for you.”

Semi swallowed, and it hurt. There were so many things he could have said, things he wanted to say, things he _needed_ to say.

Instead he stayed quiet and pretended to watch the show, because that was easier than talking about his feelings.

That was easier than admitting how he felt about Tendou.


	6. Chapter 6

Over the next couple of weeks, Semi progressively found himself spending more and more time at Tendou’s apartment. It was easier than being alone at the condo, where he would sit in silence and remember the things his mother had said to him. He’d managed to avoid her almost completely, except for the occasional awkward dinner. On those occasions their prior disagreement wasn’t mentioned, but it was definitely still on their minds. The tension was a palpable thing, crackling between them, waiting for a single provoking stimulus to build into something fierce and deadly.

Semi thought he could keep it contained until the semester started. In fact, he’d decided to avoid conflict completely and allow his mother to drop him off at the airport in a few weeks, where he would ostensibly need to be in order to catch his flight to France. 

He would then get a cab to drive him back across town, where he would settle in at Meiji. 

She didn’t have to know. He could keep it under wraps for a while. Telling her the truth was the right thing to do, but extending the lie was easier.

Tendou told him it was a bad idea, but Semi ignored him. Tendou’s mom was kind and compassionate. He didn’t know what it was like to have a mother who wouldn’t accept him and his choices.

Semi didn’t like thinking that way, even if it was true. His mother had raised him with love and care.

At least, until the Middle School Incident.

Even so, she’d thought what she was doing had been the right decision. She was terribly wrong, but she’d done what she thought was best.

Semi shouldn’t resent her for it.

He found that he resented her anyway.

“I’m going over to Tendou’s,” said Semi the following Saturday. He’d gotten home, showered, and was on his way out the door again. “I’ll have dinner there.”

“Wait, Eita,” she called from the kitchen. “Come in here for a minute.”

Semi went still, his toes already dipping into his shoe. He hesitated and almost pretended he hadn’t heard, but dutifully returned to the kitchen. 

His mother was at the table, tapping away at her laptop with a pair of reading glasses perched on the bridge of her nose. “What day does your semester start?” she asked, still typing. “We need to go ahead and book your plane ticket.”

Semi stared at her, his mind spinning blankly as he tried to think of something to say. 

She looked up at him, brows rising. “Eita?”

“I did it already,” he blurted. “Got the ticket, I mean. The flight is on, uh… August fifteenth.” 

She pursed her lips and checked the calendar. “That late? I thought French schools started sooner.” 

“The semester starts on the eighteenth,” he invented, hoping she didn’t feel the need to check. He had no idea what day Bordeaux classes began. “I have my first class at nine-thirty that morning.”

The last part was true. His first class was nine-thirty biology.

At Meiji, not Bordeaux.

His mother hummed to herself. “Okay then. I’d planned to buy the ticket for you.”

“It’s fine,” he said, the words a rush. “I don’t mind. I’ve just, uh… I’ve got to go, Tendou is waiting for me.”

“Eita.”

Semi stopped in the doorway, his escape interrupted. He waited, impatient, not looking back at her.

“You know the more time you spend with him,” she said, “the harder it will be when you have to leave. It would be easier to just cut ties now. You only have two weeks left.”

Semi clenched his jaw so hard that it ached. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and said, through his teeth, “Like I said, I’m going to Tendou’s. Bye.” 

This time she didn't stop him.

  
  
  
  
  
Akari had worked the night before, so she was still in bed when Semi arrived. He tiptoed to Tendou’s room and the two of them whiled away the day watching anime and eating the jumbo bag of chips Semi had purchased on his way over. 

Semi was stretched out on his stomach, face pillowed on his forearms, feet kicking idly in the air. The show was still running, but he’d stopped paying attention. He was thinking about what would happen in two weeks, how he was going to convince his mother to leave him at the airport without walking with him to the security check.

Tendou had still been sitting against the wall but now he flopped down beside Semi, his long body stretching the entire length of the bed. “Whatcha thinkin’ about?”

“The best way to lie to my mom,” mumbled Semi. 

Tendou sighed. “You know you shouldn’t do that, Semi-Semi.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m going to do it anyway.”

They lounged contently for a while, the buzz of the forgotten laptop a dull drone in the background. Semi was on the verge of dozing off, not from lack of sleep but from the lull of complete comfort, when long fingers slipped through his hair, lightly.

Semi went rigid, eyes flying open to the sight of Tendou yanking his hand back.

“Sorry,” said Tendou, looking away. “I shouldn’t have just-”

“It’s fine,” said Semi. He settled back down, cheek pressed against his forearm, eyes still on Tendou. His heart was beating a bit too quickly. “It’s… I don’t mind.”

Tendou hesitated, fingers tapping against the bed, considering. Tentatively, he reached out again and threaded a hand through Semi’s hair. 

Semi closed his eyes, the gentle sensation soothing.

“You have nice hair, Semi-Semi,” said Tendou quietly. “It’s soft.”

“I don’t like it,” he mumbled, half-muffled against his arm. “The color, I mean. It’s too light.”

“It’s unique,” said Tendou, carding his fingers slowly through Semi’s hair. “There aren’t many blondes around here.”

“It’s from my dad’s family,” he said. He opened his eyes to find Tendou already looking at him. “They were all blue-eyed, too, but I didn’t inherit that.”

Tendou hummed. “That’s good. I like your eyes, Semi-Semi.”

Semi burrowed a little further into his arms, hoping to hide the first hint of a blush.

After a few minutes, Tendou’s hand fell away from Semi’s hair as he dropped his arm back to his side. Semi wished he hadn’t stopped.

“Ya know,” said Tendou, “I like it the way it is, but you could always dye it, if you wanted a change. My mom dyes hers darker because she thinks it looks more professional.” He grinned. “I don’t want to be professional, though.”

Semi smiled a little. “You’d look weird with normal hair.”

“I look weird already.”

“No,” said Semi, shaking his head. “You don’t.”

Tendou looked at him, the moment lingering until he rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling instead, his hands folded over his chest.

“I might dye it,” said Semi, closing his eyes again. “Sometime. I’d have to get it done. It would be awful if I tried to do it.”

“I help mom with hers sometimes,” said Tendou, not looking at him. “I’d do it for you.”

Semi imagined having Tendou’s fingers working in his hair for an extended amount of time and almost agreed on the spot. Instead he mumbled a noncommittal, “Maybe.”

It didn’t take long for Semi to doze off after that. Tendou may have stroked his hair as he slept, or Semi may have dreamed it.

  
  
  
  
  
He didn’t have dinner at Tendou’s that night. Instead, they met the rest of Tendou’s friends at a ramen restaurant close to the park. Semi was worried that he was intruding on their outing, but no one seemed surprised to see him there, so he supposed it was alright.

Ushijima and Yamagata were leaving for their university on Monday, so that morning had been the last practice they would have together. This was their farewell dinner from the team. Everyone seemed happy for them except Goshiki, who became visibly upset every time their departure was mentioned. Semi thought he was just distressed that they would be gone soon.

“To Wakatoshi-kun and Hayato-kun!” crowed Tendou, raising his glass of water with a flourish. “May they crush all who stand in their way!”

Shirabu rolled his eyes, but even he lifted his drink for the makeshift toast. 

“We’ll totally crush them!” said Yamagata. He hadn’t stopped grinning since they’d arrived. “No one will stand a chance against us. We’ll hit the Olympics in no time, right, Ushijima?”

Ushijima frowned. “I do not think we will be considered until we have proven ourselves at a university level.”

Yamagata was undeterred. “We’ll do that during our first semester,” he said, waving it off. “They’ll be recruiting us first thing.”

Ushijima’s brow was furrowed. He looked as if he was going to protest, but Goshiki burst out, “I want to be on the Olympic team, too!”

Tendou leaned over and hooked an arm around his shoulders. “Don’t worry, Tsutomu,” he cooed. “Your time will come. Until then, you'll have to be the fearless leader of your high school team. Focus on that first.”

Goshiki’s eyes lit up. Shirabu stared flatly at the pair of them, his annoyance palpable.

“I will!” said Goshiki, too loudly. “We will win Nationals this year! You can count on me, Tendou-senpai!”

“Stop shouting,” grumbled Shirabu. “People are staring.”

No one had spared them a passing glance, but Goshiki ducked his head and mumbled an apology anyway.

“I wish we were older,” said Tendou wistfully, “so we could actually drink to your futures. Maybe if I can distract the man at the counter I can slip back there and-”

“No, Tendou,” said Semi, before he’d even finished mapping out the ridiculous plan. 

Tendou grinned at him. “You’re no fun.”

“Getting kicked out of here is no fun, either.”

“You worry too much.”

“You don’t worry enough.”

“How about we meet back up here in a couple of years,” suggested Reon, “and we’ll have a drink together then?”

“I still won’t be old enough,” said Goshiki, morose.

“Don’t worry about it,” said Tendou. “We’ll slip you some liquor.”

“No, we won’t,” said Semi.

“We should come back,” agreed Yamagata. “At least every time we’re all home for break. Just to catch up. Don’t want to lose touch. This is the best time of our lives. We should share that when we can.”

Even Ushijima nodded at the suggestion.

“It’s official then,” said Tendou brightly. “We’re all stuck with each other for life.”

Shirabu looked as if he’d swallowed something unsavory, but didn’t argue.

The table splintered back into several separate conversations, but Semi didn’t tune into any of them. He thought of what Yamagata had said. 

_This is the best time of our lives._

It should be, of course. College was supposed to be an enlightening experience, even with all the hard work and late nights that would come with it. They were old enough to be independent, but still young enough to enjoy themselves. 

This should have been the best summer of Semi’s life, existing in the liminal space of minimum responsibility. He had the freedom to do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. He had no schedule or obligations. He should have spent the summer reveling in his free time instead of spending his days worrying about disappointing his mother.

Even with all of the worrying, he realized it was still the best summer he’d ever had. He knew that was because of the man sitting next to him, cackling at something an oblivious Ushijima had said.

Semi only had two weeks left. It was time for him to embrace the rest of the time he was given. This might be the only occasion for the rest of his life that he wouldn’t have to answer to anyone else – an instructor, a manager, a boss.

This might be the only time he’d ever be completely free.

“Hey, Tendou?”

Tendou turned to him. The laughter was still on his face, his eyes bright, smile wide. 

Semi took a breath and asked, “Will you help me dye my hair later?”

The grin fell off of Tendou’s face, wiped away by surprise. He smiled again, softer, and said, “Of course I will. Anything for you, Semi-Semi.”

Semi felt warm, and he knew it wasn’t just the warmth of friendship. It was something else, something that was comforting yet terrifying. 

He let himself slip back into the conversations, listening to Ushijima talk about the team he and Yamagata would be joining. Ushijima wasn’t very expressive, but even Semi could tell he was looking forward to playing with his new team.

Every now and then Tendou would glance at him, and the warmth buzzing in Semi’s blood only burned more brightly.

  
  
  
  
  
Half an hour after leaving the restaurant, Semi was sitting anxiously on the closed toilet lid in Tendou’s small bathroom, watching with simmering dread as Tendou prepared a batch of hair dye.

“Are you sure she doesn’t mind?” It was the sixth time Semi had asked since Tendou had unearthed the box of dye from beneath the sink. “It’s your mom’s, I don’t want to-”

“I told you it’s fine,” said Tendou. He waved him off and a dark drip splattered onto the sink. Tendou quickly wiped it away with a towel. “I texted her. She said as long as I’m not putting it on the neighbor’s dog again I can do whatever I want with it.” He glanced at Semi over his shoulder. “That was one time. I was only nine. I didn’t know any better.”

Semi swallowed. Nervousness was making his chest tight. “I know I said I wanted to do this, but I don’t know.”

“Why?”

“It might not be a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. It’s just… what if it looks stupid?”

Tendou looked at him, unimpressed. “Don’t you trust me, Semi-Semi?”

“That’s not it. What if _I_ look stupid? My hair has always been like this. If I change it, maybe I’ll look like an idiot.”

“Impossible,” said Tendou. “You’ll look good no matter what you do to your hair.”

“But what if-”

“Are you really worried about how it’s going to look,” said Tendou, “or are you worried about what your mom is going to think?”

Semi swallowed his words. The question stung because it was closer to the truth than he cared to admit. 

Tendou stopped stirring the mix. He turned and leaned back against the sink, folding his arms. He tilted his head to one side, eyeing Semi with concern. “If you really don’t want to,” he said, “it’s fine. I’m not going to push you into anything. But if it’s something you want, and you’re just backing out because you don’t want to disappoint your mom, then you need to stop thinking too much and do it. This is your life, not hers. You can’t live your life trying to please other people. Do what makes you happy. That’s what really matters, right?”

Semi clenched his hands together in his lap. 

Tendou was right. Of course he was right. Semi couldn’t make all of his decisions based on what would please his mother. If he did, he’d have a miserable life.

“Yeah,” said Semi. “Yeah, okay. Do it.”

Tendou didn’t move. “Are you sure?”

He nodded. “I’m sure. Like we talked about, right? Not all of it.”

“I’ve gotcha,” said Tendou. He reached out to slip his fingers through Semi’s hair. “Just the ends. That’s what the foil is for.” He tapped the box of aluminum foil on the sink and turned back to the dye. “Just trust me, Semi-Semi.”

Semi exhaled the breath he’d been holding.

When Tendou finished mixing the dye and gestured for Semi to turn around, he did so without pause.

He did trust Tendou, more than he’d ever thought he would trust anyone.

  
  
  
  
  
Semi left Tendou’s apartment with a spring in his step and a smile on his face. He felt light and content, and though he would’ve preferred to stay longer, he was in a cheerful enough mood that he didn’t mind going home.

He would see Tendou again tomorrow, anyway. 

His phone buzzed before he was a full block away. It was a screenshot that Tendou had taken of his text conversation with Akari. He’d sent her a picture of Semi, the tips of his hair the same chestnut brown that she preferred, a stark yet satisfying contrast to the natural sandy blond. She’d messaged back, _That could pass for a professional dye job, Satori! Tell Eita he looks stunning._

Semi smiled more widely and tucked his phone away as he crossed the street.

The muted glow coming from the living room suggested his mother was still awake, probably reading by lamplight. Semi paused in the genkan, considering. He reached for his hood, hesitated, and lowered his hands. 

Maybe this wouldn’t be as big of a deal as he thought. Maybe his mother would like his hair, or at least not hate it. Maybe she would be happy that he was happy.

His stomach swooped as he stepped up to the living room doorway and peered in at his mom, who was on the couch. “I’m back.”

“It’s late,” she said, flipping a page in her book.

“Yeah, I know,” he said. He shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. “Sorry.”

Finally she glanced up at him, and her face didn’t change as her gaze rose to his hair. She plucked off her reading glasses and looked again, as if maybe they’d been playing a trick with her vision. “What did you do to your hair?”

The question was inflectionless, and Semi let himself hope for the best. 

“I dyed it,” he said, reaching self-consciously to scratch at it. It was silky-smooth from Akari’s conditioner. “Well, Tendou dyed it. I asked him to.”

She stared at him for another moment. Then she sighed and said, “Go sit in the kitchen. I’ll get the clippers.”

Semi didn’t move as she rose from the couch and paced across the floor. She paused in front of him, frowning. “At least it’s not down to the roots,” she said. “We can trim that mess off easily. You were due for a haircut anyway.”

She slipped past him and was halfway down the hall before Semi found his voice.

“What?” he said, the only word he could find.

“Go sit in the kitchen. I’m going to fix your hair.”

“It’s not… it doesn’t need fixing.”

“Eita, have you seen yourself?”

Semi bit his lip and reached up to touch his hair again. “I like it.”

His mother sighed. “You look like a street thug. Which isn’t all that surprising, considering which part of the city you’ve been visiting. You’re not going to Bordeaux looking like that, Eita. People will think-”

“I’m not going to Bordeaux.” The words were out of his mouth before he’d known what he was about to say. 

“Excuse me?”

He thought about taking the words back, saying he’d misspoken or that he was joking. She would have believed it. It would have been easier for her to accept than the idea of her son being such a disappointment.

“I’m not going to Bordeaux,” he repeated. He thought of Tendou, advising him that he should’ve told the truth to begin with. He wished Tendou was there with him. Maybe his presence would make Semi feel a little less like he was about to jitter out of his own skin. “I was never going there. I only applied because you wanted me to. I got accepted at Meiji, too. That’s where I’m going.”

His mother was frozen in the hallway, eyeing him as if he was speaking an unknown language. When she finally found her voice, she said, “If this is a joke, it isn’t funny.”

“I’m not joking.”

“You wanted to go to Bordeaux.”

“No, _you_ wanted me to go to Bordeaux.”

“Why wouldn’t you?” she said, a little desperately. “It’s an excellent school. You’ve been in France for the past three years. It’s the university your father attended. It’s the only thing that makes sense, Eita.”

“I hate France,” he spat. There was more venom in his voice than he’d anticipated. “You made me go there, mom. Every single day I spent in that school I was wishing I was back home. It was miserable. We were barely allowed to breathe without permission, and they made us pray all the time, and we-”

“Praying is good,” she cut in. She looked rattled. “We should do that now. Let’s pray that you come to your senses, let’s-”

“No, mom,” said Semi. “I don’t want to pray. Just because you tossed me into a Catholic boarding school didn’t make me a Catholic. You can believe whatever you want, but you can’t force me into a religion.”

She closed her eyes, seconds ticking into a solid minute. Semi thought she was probably counting, to calm herself down.

It wouldn’t be a bad idea for him to do the same. His hands were trembling at his sides. He balled them into fists to stop the shaking.

“You’re being unreasonable,” she finally said. “We’ll discuss this in the morning. Come on, into the kitchen. You can go to bed as soon as I fix your hair.”

“You’re not touching my hair,” he said. “We can talk in the morning, but nothing is going to change. I’m not going to Bordeaux. I’m not going back to France.”

He stormed past her, and he half-expected to be physically stopped. But she let him go, only watching as he stomped into his room and flung the door closed behind him.

He dropped into a crouch with his back against the door and his face in his hands. His hair tickled his knuckles, and when he peeled his eyes open, he saw dark strands dancing at the edges of his vision rather than blond ones. 

He made a strangled sound that was half-laugh, half-sob, and forced himself off of the floor to get dressed for bed. He only realized when he was plugging in his phone that he’d missed a text from Tendou.

_Get home okay, Semi-Semi?_

For no apparent reason, Semi felt like crying. He typed back an affirmative and burrowed into his sheets.

With his emotions brewing into black turmoil, Semi doubted he would be able to sleep. 

Regardless, he drifted off an hour later, curled up on his side with one hand loosely clutched in the front of his hair.

  
  
  
  
  
Semi was a deep sleeper by nature. There had been an incident in boarding school in which a fire alarm had been set off at two a.m., and instead of evacuating, Semi had simply slept through it. He’d caught a long-winded lecture the following morning, but it hadn’t been his fault. 

So when he woke up much too early for no conceivable reason, he was extremely confused. 

He was warm and comfortable, the covers pulled up to his chin. One of his hands was under his pillow, the other still curled in front of his face. 

His bed shifted a little beneath him. He wondered vaguely if it was Tendou, but reminded himself that he was at his condo. Of course it wasn’t Tendou.

He didn’t know why he was awake. Everything seemed at peace.

Except for the strange clicking sounds that flitted about his ears like flies. 

He turned his face further into his pillow, hoping the noise was only the remnant of a dream. 

It disappeared, briefly, and Semi had almost drifted to sleep again when it started back up. He focused on it, trying to puzzle out what it could be. It was too close to originate from beyond the window, so he couldn’t blame any random nighttime passersby on the street. It was _right there_.

After a few minutes he came to the fuddled realization that it wasn’t quite a clicking sound.

It was more of a _snip_.

He sat bolt upright, panic fluttering in his chest. In the dim light of the room, illuminated only by the soft glow of a phone screen, he saw his mother sitting on the edge of his bed.

“What are you _doing_?” he hissed, fumbling for the lamp at his bedside.

“Nothing,” she whispered. “I was just checking on you. Go back to sleep.”

His searching fingers found the switch and he squinted in the sudden burst of light. When his eyes adjusted, he blinked at his mother, who hadn’t moved. She still held her phone, but the screen had gone dark. 

In her other hand was a small pair of scissors.

Semi twisted to look back at his pillow, where wads of dark hair fanned across the white pillowcase. His breath caught as he raised a hand and felt at the back of his head.

His fingers shook as they ghosted over the wreckage of his hair. Chunks were missing, obvious even by touch. 

He couldn’t imagine how it must have looked.

He dropped his hand, stray hairs sticking to his fingers. The dark strands were stark against his pale palm.

“I thought you would sleep through it,” his mother admitted. “You sleep through anything. Now that you’re up, let’s go into the kitchen so I can see properly. When I finish you’ll look as good as new.”

Semi continued to stare at his hand. He heard her, but he couldn’t make himself move, couldn’t respond. The tremble in his fingers grew more evident and heat burned at the backs of his eyes. 

He shuffled toward the end of the bed and his mother got up to give him space. As Semi stepped into a pair of sweatpants, she paced across the room. “Would you like some tea?” she asked, pausing in the doorway.

Semi didn’t trust his voice, so he just nodded. She stepped into the hall and he pulled his jacket over his head, yanking the hood up to cover the mess that his hair had become. He grabbed his phone, nearly yanking the charger out of the wall when he forgot it was attached. 

He walked out of his room, his socks muffling his footsteps as he headed down the hallway. He’d already stepped into his shoes and had his hand on the door when his mother called, “Eita?”

Semi pushed the door open and quietly slipped outside.

It wasn’t cold, but it wasn’t warm, either. The weather was in a state of purgatory, simply existing. He tucked his hands into his pockets and started walking, directionless.

He was angry, but not as much as he probably should have been. His shock dulled the sharp edge of his rage. 

He couldn’t believe his mother would do this. He couldn’t believe she would creep into his room while he was sleeping and cut his hair, after he’d told her he liked it.

After Tendou had spent so much time on it.

The thought of Tendou made his eyes burn even more. He rubbed at them with curled knuckles, his throat tight. 

He wasn’t going to cry, not over something as unimportant as his hair. He’d never been that vain.

But this wasn’t only about his hair.

When he’d been walking for about ten minutes, Semi vaguely realized he was heading in the direction of Tendou’s apartment.

He stopped dead in the middle of the street, his brain going blank. It was fortunate that traffic was light at two a.m., because he was largely unaware of his surroundings. He only knew that he couldn’t go to Tendou’s, even if that was the only place he wanted to be. He couldn’t show up on Tendou’s doorstep in the middle of the night as a sad, sniveling mess.

He turned around and started back the way he came, back toward his side of the city, veering east instead of toward his condo. 

He ended up at the park. The gates were locked and his heart sank even further. He studied the wrought-iron fence, wondering if it was too high to climb. He could probably do it, but if he got caught, he’d have to explain to the police why he was breaking into the park in the early hours of the morning. 

Telling them that he’d walked out of his home because of his haircut wouldn’t be very convincing.

Instead of jumping the fence, he simply sat down on the hard concrete with his back pressed against the gate, his knees pulled to his chest and his hood low over his forehead. At the edges of his vision he still saw a blur of dark hair. His mother hadn’t clipped the front before he’d woken up, but that didn’t matter when she’d sheared off half of the hair in the back. 

He rested his forehead on his knees and bit his lip, again fighting the swell of tears that made his skull ache. 

Walking out may have been stupid, but he hadn’t known what else to do. He couldn’t stay there with her. Even if he’d refused to let her touch his hair, she would only wait until he was asleep again to sneak back in and finish the job. 

Semi couldn’t go home, not tonight, but he couldn’t stay where he was, either. He certainly couldn’t go crying to Tendou, not like this.

He didn’t know what he was going to do.


	7. Chapter 7

Semi didn’t fall asleep propped against the gate of the park, but he managed to fall into the state somewhere between awareness and unconsciousness, where the contents of his mind were more real than the things existing around him.

In his mind, he’d gone home last night and hadn’t fought with his mother.

In his mind, he hadn’t been shipped off to boarding school for three years.

In his mind, he’d met Tendou at the local high school instead, but they’d still become close friends and they were still going to attend Meiji together.

A couple of hours sailed away, and when Semi returned to full wakefulness, he realized his mind had lied to him.

He staggered to his feet, his muscles stiff and painful. His knees had gone numb, and the resultant limp lingered for a couple of blocks before his normal gait returned. He still didn’t know where he was going, but it didn’t matter. Maybe he would just wander around the city indefinitely, until he decayed and disappeared. 

His mother probably wouldn’t notice he was gone.

Tendou might, though.

He walked past a taxi that had stopped to pick up a visibly drunk man on the corner. The pulsing sound of music filtered from the open door of a nightclub. A stray cat darted across his path, solid black, and he wondered if it would bring him bad luck even though he wasn’t superstitious. Further along there was a woman sweeping off the sidewalk in front of a convenience store, her hair pulled back in a neat twist. 

She glanced up as he approached, but dismissed him to focus on her cleaning. Then she stopped, raised her head again, and looked at him more closely.

“Eita?”

Semi scuffed to a stop, too numb to feel surprised. It was Akari, dressed in khakis and a plain shirt printed with the store’s logo. “Akari-san.”

“What are you doing out?” she said, propping the broom against the wall and stepping closer. “It’s almost four a.m.”

Semi hadn’t known it was that late, but he wasn’t surprised by that, either. He didn’t feel much of anything, but it was an improvement over the way he’d felt earlier.

“Oh,” he said. “I didn’t know.”

Akari studied him. “Is everything okay?”

His initial reaction was to lie, just like he’d lied to his mother for the past few months.

He tried, but the words curdled on his tongue.

“Eita?”

He bit his lip and looked away, because he couldn’t stop himself from wishing that his own mother would look at him like that, with genuine concern instead of disapproval.

“Come inside, dear,” said Akari. She placed a hand on his shoulder and gently guided him inside. He went, because he couldn’t think of anything else to do.

She grabbed the broom and carried it inside with them, leading Semi to the back of the store. She gestured at the fold-out chair behind the counter and he sat without argument. 

“Do you like tea or coffee?”

Semi shrugged.

Akari rested a hand on the top of his head, briefly, before stepping through the slim doorway behind the counter. It was meant to be a gesture of comfort, but it only reminded Semi that beneath his hood, his hair was a mutilated disaster.

He wondered if Akari would be mad that her hair dye had been wasted.

A few minutes later she returned, pressing a cup into Semi’s hand. “You look like you need tea,” she said. She was dragging along another chair and she folded it out to sit beside him. 

Semi sipped at the drink, and it was so hot that it nearly burned his tongue. He blew on it absently, his mind still full of white noise.

“Did something happen?” asked Akari after a moment. 

“Sort of.”

“Are you alright?”

Semi shrugged.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

“Not really,” he mumbled. “Not right now.”

He expected to be pressed, but she let it go. 

“My shift ends in an hour,” she said. “When I leave you can come home with me, okay?”

“I don’t want to intrude.”

“I’ve told you before that you’re always welcome,” she said. It almost sounded like she was scolding him. “Don’t think of yourself as a bother, dear, because you’re not.”

Semi drank his tea and said nothing. 

A few minutes later, a tired-looking man stepped inside the store to buy cigarettes, and Semi was left alone.

He wondered if he should leave while Akari was distracted, but again, he didn’t know where he was supposed to go.

Besides, he had a feeling she would try to stop him.

He waited patiently as the hour drizzled by. Shortly after, he found himself stepping into the familiar apartment. Akari flipped on the lights, gestured toward the couch, and disappeared into her bedroom.

Obediently, Semi sat, folded his hands together, and stared at the carpet. 

When Akari returned a few minutes later, her hair was down and she’d changed into sweatpants. She sat on the couch beside him, her scrutiny more intense than he would have liked.

“Eita?”

“Yeah?”

“Tell me what happened.”

It wasn’t a question.

He should have lied. He considered it, but again found that he couldn’t.

“My mother and I had a disagreement,” he admitted, still staring at the floor. “I left.”

“At four in the morning?”

He shook his head. “It was at two, I think.”

“Where were you for two hours?”

Semi shrugged. “In front of the park.”

Akari sighed, but it wasn’t a sound of frustration. She rested a gentle hand on Semi’s arm and said, “What did you disagree about?”

“My hair.”

“What did she say?”

“That it’s a mess,” he said, the words tight. “That I look like a street thug.”

Her fingers tightened around his arm. “That isn’t true. You’re dazzling, no matter what you choose to do with your hair.”

“And then I told her I wasn’t going to Bordeaux.” He wasn’t sure why he said it. Akari hadn’t asked. 

There was a beat of silence before Akari said, “And?”

Semi just shook his head. “It wasn’t… she won’t… she doesn’t listen. She said I was being unreasonable, and I went to bed, and while I was asleep, she…”

The words crumbled to dust on his tongue. He swallowed, tried to speak again, and realized that he couldn’t form words past the lump in his throat.

The numbness was fading. Shame was rising to take its place.

“It’s okay, Eita.”

“She… she cut my hair while I was asleep,” he managed, the words choked. “She ruined it. She said she was trying to fix it. That’s what she always says. That's what she said when she sent me away. It was for my own good, she wanted to fix me, she wanted-” 

A sob broke the sentence, and Semi pressed his hands over his face. He didn’t want to cry in front of Akari. She hadn’t asked for this. She shouldn’t have to deal with his problems.

“Oh, Eita.” 

His shoulders shook as he tried to push down his tears, as he tried to swallow the sobs. He couldn’t shed the hot shame that heated his skin and he couldn’t stop the tears that dampened his fingertips.

He curled in on himself, but Akari’s arm draped across his shoulders, pulling him close. “It’s okay,” she murmured, rubbing circles across his shoulderblades. “It’s okay, Eita.”

There was the squeak of an old door, a silent gasp, a voice edged with sleep. “Semi?”

Semi pressed his palms against his eyes so hard that it hurt. He didn’t want Tendou to see him cry, but still he couldn’t stop.

“Shit,” breathed Tendou, suddenly much closer. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

“Eita’s had a rough night,” said Akari gently. Her arm fell away as she stood, and Tendou plopped down in her place.

“Semi?” said Tendou, his hand warm on Semi’s shoulder. “Are you okay? _Semi?_ ”

One more sob squeezed out of Semi’s throat and he tried to pull himself together, wiping at his eyes with the ends of his sleeves. He tilted his head in Tendou’s direction and immediately looked away. “I’m fine.”

“You’re such a bad liar,” said Tendou. “I don’t know how you convinced your mom you’re going to France.”

Semi made another choked sound, and even he wasn’t sure if it was a sob or a laugh. 

“Let me see your hair, Eita,” said Akari. “I may be able to do something about it.”

Tendou looked between them, confused. His hair was mussed from sleep, and every few seconds he tossed it out of his face. 

Semi didn’t want her to see. He didn’t want either of them to see, but he didn’t think he had much of a choice. He reached up, hesitated with his hood pinched between his fingers, and slowly pushed it back. The apartment air was cool against the back of his neck. 

Semi wasn’t looking at either of them, but the look on Tendou’s face must have been drastic.

“His mother cut it,” explained Akari, so Semi didn’t have to repeat himself. “When he was sleeping.” Her fingers carded through the back of his hair, exploring the damage. “I think I can fix it,” she said. “If you’d like me to.”

Semi nodded. “Thank you.”

“I’ll go find our clippers,” she said, stepping away from the couch. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

When she was gone, a heavy silence fell in her absence. Semi knew Tendou was staring at him, expectant, but he didn’t know what to say.

Tendou touched the back of his hand, tentative. Semi twisted his wrist and slipped their fingers together.

“You could’ve called me,” said Tendou, his voice nearly a whisper. “I wish you would’ve.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t say that. You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

Semi bit his lip and leaned into Tendou, just a little. “I told her I’m not going to Bordeaux.”

Tendou’s hand tightened around his. “And?”

“She didn’t take it well. She said I’m unreasonable.”

“Unreasonably patient,” said Tendou, “to have put up with her bullshit for so long.”

Semi pressed his face into Tendou’s shoulder. 

Tendou released his hand, and for a moment Semi felt bereft. Then Tendou looped his arm over Semi’s shoulders and pulled him close. 

“I don’t know what to do,” Semi admitted. He closed his eyes and sank closer into Tendou. “I’m not the kind of son she wants. I’m not good enough for her.”

“Shut up, Semi-Semi. You’re perfect.”

He felt like crying again, but he fought it down. “That’s not true.”

“Of course it is. You’re perfect just how you are. If she doesn’t like you this way then she’s the one who’s missing out. You shouldn’t have to change yourself to please anyone else. Especially not your mom. She should love you no matter what.” He squeezed Semi’s shoulders once before releasing him. “Hey, look at me.”

Semi tilted his head up, his lip still caught between his teeth.

Tendou pressed his hands on either side of Semi’s face, leaning close. “You’re great, Semi-Semi,” he whispered. “I mean it. It doesn’t matter where you go to school, or what color your hair is, or who you like. Don’t change for anyone.”

Semi stared back at him, teetering on the edge of tears again. They were just words, but Tendou said them with such conviction that they stole the breath from his lungs. Semi wrapped his arms around Tendou and buried his face in his chest, biting down to stifle a sob. Tendou returned the embrace, long arms wrapping around his back. 

“It’s okay to cry, too,” Tendou mumbled. “I won’t make fun of you.”

“Shut up, Tendou.”

He wasn’t looking at Tendou, but somehow he still knew he was smiling.

“Come on,” said Tendou, his arms slipping away. “Mom is gonna fix your hair.”

“I don’t think it’s fixable,” said Semi, sitting back. He reached toward the back of his head, but aborted the motion halfway through. He didn’t want to feel how badly it was mangled. 

“I think you’ll be surprised." 

  
  
  
  
  
Semi had never worn his hair in an undercut, but there was a first time for everything.

Akari managed to salvage some of it, but a bit of shaving was unavoidable. She left as much as she could, the close crop at the base of his skull fading into longer hair at the top. Some of the dark tips were still intact, and for that he was grateful.

While she worked, Semi talked. He told Akari about lying to his mom about his choice of university. He told her about his boarding school, and the reason he’d been sent there. He told her – and by extension Tendou, who hovered in the doorway – about the Middle School Incident, when his mom had walked in on him kissing his best friend Riku in his bedroom and had nearly fainted.

Akari listened quietly, just letting him talk. By the time he was finished, Semi felt strangely light, as if the words had been a toxin leaving his bloodstream. 

She dusted the hair off of his shoulders, put the clippers aside, and tilted his head up. She eyed his hair, making sure it was even, and then dropped her gaze to meet his.

“Listen to me, Eita,” she said. “I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. It’s unfair, and you deserve much better. It shouldn’t have happened, but it did, and you are so strong for pushing through it. I already told you that you’re welcome in my home anytime, but you need to know that I mean it. If your family doesn’t accept you, then I will. If you ever need anything at all, I expect you to let me know. Understood?”

Semi bit his lip and nodded.

“Good.” She patted the side of his face, gently. “I know you probably don’t feel like it, but try to get some sleep, okay? You’re going to have to face some uncomfortable things in a few hours, but it will be easier if you’ve rested.”

“Okay.”

Satisfied, she turned to Tendou. “Let him borrow some of your clothes, Satori.”

Tendou rolled his eyes. “As if you have to tell me that. I’m not going to make him go naked.”

She smacked him in the chest lightly, a barely-there smile on her face. She was only about the height of Tendou’s shoulder. Clearly he’d inherited his stature from his unknown father. “You need to get some more sleep too. I know you stayed up too late. You always do.”

Tendou didn’t bother arguing. She slipped past him and disappeared into her bedroom.

“C’mon, Semi-Semi,” said Tendou, offering his hand.

Without a second of hesitation, Semi took it.

  
  
  
  
  
Semi woke up bundled in Tendou’s bedsheets, warm, cozy, and hazily content. One of his arms rested across Tendou’s stomach, their legs intertwined. Unlike the last time he’d woken up like this, Semi nestled closer into the warmth.

He’d only slept for a couple of hours, but he already felt better.

Of course, that likely had less to do with sleep and more to do with Tendou. 

Tendou had offered to sleep on the couch, but Semi hadn’t even entertained the idea. He’d dragged Tendou into bed and curled up next to him with no reservations, ignoring the insistent whisper in the back of his head that said it was wrong.

That whisper sounded eerily like his mother, and he snuffed it out.

He closed his eyes and felt the rise and fall of Tendou’s chest against his cheek, smooth and slow. The distant hum of a heartbeat pulsed in his ears, and it was probably his own, but he preferred to think it was Tendou’s.

Only a few minutes later, Tendou sucked in a breath and stirred beneath him, stretching his limbs out before again curling his arm around Semi’s shoulders. He did it automatically, even through a haze of sleep, as if it was natural.

“’Morning,” mumbled Semi, not moving.

Tendou mumbled something back, but the words were foggy and garbled.

Semi smiled. 

It took Tendou several minutes to drag himself to full awareness. When he did, he craned his neck to look down at Semi. “You okay?” he asked, his voice a tired croak.

“Yeah,” said Semi. It was the first time he’d meant it. “I’m fine.”

Tendou collapsed back down onto his pillow. His hand skimmed along Semi’s shoulder, traced the bumps of his spine on the back of his neck, and trailed along the shaved part of Semi’s hair before tangling in the longer pieces. 

“Sorry about your hair,” said Tendou, “but it looks good like this. I like it.”

Semi pressed his face into Tendou’s chest to hide his smile. “Thanks.”

He shouldn’t be this content. He knew he was going to have to go back home soon, and he had a decent idea of what would happen when he did. Still, even with that lurking on the horizon, he couldn’t help but appreciate the warmth and comfort of Tendou. 

He thought back to the beginning of the summer. It had only been several weeks in the past, but it felt like years. When Tendou had approached him in the park, Semi had thought he was strange. He’d shied away from contact and had avoided the park just so Tendou wouldn’t speak to him again.

Semi had done some stupid things in his life, but that ranked at the top of the list.

It was very fortunate that Tendou was persistent. If not, Semi would’ve been back at the condo, alone, still trying to piece together convincing lies to feed his mother.

“Hey, Tendou?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for being my friend.”

Tendou ruffled his hair. “You don’t have to thank me for that, Semi-Semi.”

“Yeah, I do,” said Semi. He peeled himself away from Tendou and propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at him. “You were there for me when we’d barely even met. It means a lot to me. _You_ mean a lot to me.”

“I’m just lucky I met you,” said Tendou with a grin. “You’re a good friend, too.”

Semi hesitated, uncertain, before asking, “Only a friend?”

Tendou’s smile disappeared. A crease appeared between his brows as he studied Semi, unnaturally serious. “I want you to be happy,” he said quietly. “If you want me to just be your friend, I’m okay with it.”

“What if I don’t?” asked Semi. He looked away, his face warming. “I want us to be friends, but what if I want… something else, too?”

Tendou’s long fingers traced his cheek, startling Semi into looking at him again. 

“You can have whatever you want,” said Tendou. “You’ve just gotta tell me.”

Semi knew his face was on fire, but it easy to ignore when Tendou was looking at him like that, like he cared for Semi in the same way that Semi cared for him.

“I want you to kiss me,” said Semi, the words a rush. He needed to say it quickly, before the fleeting boldness left him.

A smile pulled at Tendou’s mouth. It was soft and gentle, and it made Semi feel even warmer.

“Okay,” said Tendou. “If you insist.”

He nudged Semi’s shoulder, coaxing him to lay back. Tendou leaned over him, his gaze slipping back and forth between Semi’s eyes and his lips. He moved slowly, hesitating at the last second, giving Semi a chance to stop him.

Semi closed his eyes and held his breath as Tendou’s mouth brushed against his, lightly. It only lasted for a split second before Tendou pulled back. Semi reached out for him, his hands tangling in messy hair, and drew him back in.

This time the kiss was longer. Tendou’s lips were dry and chapped, but they still fit against Semi’s perfectly. Tendou’s hand curved around Semi’s jaw, cradling his face, as the kiss lingered. 

This time when Tendou pulled back the two of them looked at one another, Tendou’s face a little flushed, Semi’s stomach swooping like he’d hit a sharp drop on a roller coaster. 

Tendou smiled, brushing at the dyed hair that fell across Semi’s forehead, and said, “You’ve got some awful morning breath, Semi-Semi.”

Semi shoved him away and rolled to the side, yanking up the sheets to cover his face. “As if yours is any better,” he said, kicking back as Tendou tried to inch closer. 

Tendou laughed. He managed to curl up against Semi’s back, pulling at the sheets and stretching up to leave a kiss against his cheek. “You’re cute.”

“And you’re a jerk.”

“I was kidding,” said Tendou, the grin evident in his voice. 

“Shut up.”

Tendou nosed at the back of Semi’s neck, looping an arm over his stomach and pulling him close. “I’d kiss you anytime,” said Tendou, the words mumbled against Semi’s skin. “No matter what your breath is like.”

Semi buried his face in Tendou’s pillow, embarrassed yet pleased. 

They stayed like that for a while, snuggled together in Tendou’s bed. Semi wished he could stay there indefinitely, because if he never moved, he would never have to face his problems.

Eventually he rolled over and was met with a sleepy grin. He smiled back, but it was forced, and Tendou noticed.

“It’ll be alright,” said Tendou. He searched for Semi’s hand and threaded their fingers together. “It’s gonna work out.”

Semi hummed, noncommittal. “Maybe. I should probably go home and see what’s going to happen. Waiting is only going to make it worse.”

“Okay,” said Tendou. “If that’s what you wanna do.”

“I don’t want to, but I should,” said Semi. He sat up, still holding onto Tendou’s hand. He glanced down at him and asked, more quietly, “Will you go with me?”

Tendou wrapped his arms around Semi’s torso and tucked his face against Semi’s ribs. “Of course. I’d go anywhere with you.”


	8. Chapter 8

Tendou walked with Semi to the apartment, but when they arrived, Semi balked. He knew having Tendou there would only escalate the situation between himself and his mother, especially since he’d decided to be completely honest with her.

About everything, not just the university situation.

A bit guiltily, he asked Tendou to wait for him outside, and went in to face his mother alone.

Tendou was sitting on the doorstep when Semi emerged half an hour later, and Semi was grateful that he’d gone in by himself.

Tendou stood up so quickly that he nearly stumbled. “What happened?”

Semi shook his head and hefted his duffel bag over his shoulder. “Nothing unexpected. Do you think your mom would let me stay with you for a couple of weeks, until the semester starts?”

“Of course she will.” Tendou reached out to smooth his thumb across Semi’s cheek, where hot tears still dripped from wet lashes. “Do you need me to…?”

Semi didn’t know what he was offering, and Tendou seemed a bit lost, too. 

“I’m fine,” he said. “Really. It wasn’t as bad as I thought.”

“But you’re upset,” said Tendou quietly.

Semi sniffled, but forced a smile. “Well yeah, but I’ll get over it.”

He started to step past, but Tendou stopped him. “Here, I’ll carry your bag.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Let me do it anyway.” He slipped the bag off Semi’s shoulder and tossed it over his own.

Semi stuffed his hands into his pockets as he scuffed along the sidewalk. Tendou walked beside him, matching his slow pace, not appearing the least bit impatient.

Tendou glanced at him every now and then, but he didn’t ask any questions. He was clearly waiting until Semi was ready to talk about it, and Semi was grateful.

They were about halfway back to Tendou’s apartment when Semi spoke.

“The first thing she said to me was she checked into late registration for Bordeaux,” he said. “She told me I could still sign up for classes, and that she’d pay the late fee for me.”

Tendou didn’t respond. He stayed quiet and waited.

“I told her I wasn’t going. She tried to convince me, but I kept saying no and she finally got it,” said Semi. He chewed at his lip, testing his words before he said them. “I think… maybe, if I’d stopped there… things would’ve been okay. But I couldn’t… I mean, I had to say everything, or it would’ve just been bad again later.”

Tendou stepped a bit closer, rubbing his shoulder against Semi’s in a show of silent support.

Semi wanted to hold his hand. He was dying to, but he couldn’t, not out on the street, not in public. He took a breath and continued. “I told her about you. I told her we’re together, even though I guess we’re not, not officially, but I-”

“We can be,” said Tendou, “if you want.”

Semi looked up at him. The tears had dried on his face, but his eyes were still red. “I don’t want to push you into it.”

“Trust me, Semi-Semi,” said Tendou, his smile subdued. “You’re not pushing me into anything.”

Semi ducked his head a little to hide his own smile. “Okay then.” He took a moment to latch onto Tendou’s words, to let himself feel content, before he continued. “Anyway, I told her we’re together, and she didn’t take it well. I guess she was hoping boarding school had sucked the gay right out of me. That was the point of it. She said I could either cut ties with you and get my shit together or I needed to get out of her house. So…” he trailed off with a shrug. “That’s what happened.”

They walked in silence for a moment before Tendou said, quietly, “I’m sorry, Semi.”

“Don’t be,” he said. “You didn’t do anything. I should be thanking you, really.”

Tendou’s eyebrows rose. “For what?”

“For caring, I guess,” said Semi. “Clearly my mom is only concerned about me when I’m doing what she wants. No one has ever just… been there for me, for no reason.”

Tendou stopped walking, so suddenly that it took Semi a couple of steps to notice. He turned, confused, to find Tendou eyeing him, his face unreadable.

“What?”

“It’s not for no reason,” said Tendou. “You’re worth it, Semi-Semi. You’re worth more than you give yourself credit for.”

“Stop,” mumbled Semi, turning away to fight his blush.

“It’s true,” said Tendou. He started forward again, lightly bumping against Semi’s shoulder. “I’ll make you believe it, eventually. I promise.”

Semi shook his head, but he couldn’t fight his smile.

  
  
  
  
  
Akari had no reservations whatsoever about allowing Semi to live with them. Semi still felt like he was intruding, but she did her best to convince him he wasn’t a burden.

There was only one stipulation to Semi’s temporary occupancy, and it came in the form of an extremely uncomfortable conversation the first night of his stay, after she’d sent Tendou off to bed.

Semi listened with mounting horror, and when he was dismissed, he barely kept himself from sprinting to Tendou’s room in an attempt to outrun his own embarrassment.

Tendou was, predictably, still awake.

“What’s wrong, Semi-Semi?” he said with a knowing grin. He flipped his laptop shut and set it aside. “You look traumatized.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He flopped onto Tendou’s bed and buried his face in a pillow.

Tendou failed to stifle a laugh. He brushed his fingers over the back of Semi’s hair. “It was The Talk, wasn’t it? She gave you The Talk.”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.” The words were muffled nearly beyond recognition.

Tendou laughed again. “I got it when I was thirteen,” he said. “How do you think I felt?”

“I got one when I was a kid too,” said Semi. He turned his face to the side, just enough to make his voice comprehensible. “I didn’t need it again.”

“But this was the gay version,” said Tendou, threading his fingers through Semi’s hair. “There were probably a few updates from the straight version, right?”

Semi burrowed into the pillow again.

“Don’t worry about it, Semi-Semi.” Tendou shuffled closer. “We won’t even think about that sort of thing for a while. Not until you’re comfortable with it.”

Semi’s tight muscles relaxed as tension that he hadn’t even recognized bled out of him. He turned toward Tendou, throwing an arm around him and nestling close. “You can call me by my name, you know,” he said.

“Huh?”

“My name,” said Semi. “You can call me by that, if you want.”

His eyes were closed, but he felt Tendou’s smile, and heard it in his voice when he said, “Goodnight, Eita.”

  
  
  
  
  
When the university’s freshman move-in day arrived, Akari helped them gather their things together – Semi’s packing took significantly less time – and accompanied them on the train to Meiji University. 

The two of them hadn’t been assigned to the same dorm, but their rooms were in neighboring buildings. It was closer than Semi had dared to hope for.

He’d expected them to wander off to set up Tendou’s room, but quickly realized it wasn’t going to go quite like that.

The three of them staked out Semi’s room first, and Akari temporarily stacked Tendou’s bags in the corner as she helped Semi set up his belongings. She talked to herself as she arranged and tidied, low sentiments such as “This bed is so small he’ll probably roll out in the floor”, and “If his roommate snores he’ll end up sleeping in the hallway”, and “I thought the university would supply a microwave, I’ll have to buy him one.”

Semi unpacked his clothes into an empty wardrobe as she made his bed, embarrassed yet flattered by the attention. Tendou hovered behind him, kneading his hands into Semi’s tense shoulders. 

When Akari was satisfied with the state of the room she announced, “I’m going to start carrying this stuff next door. Finish unpacking your clothes and then the two of you can join me. I expect you soon. I am not setting up your room on my own, Satori.”

“Okay, mom,” said Tendou, singsong.

She stepped over to smack him gently on the back of the head. “Don’t take that tone with me,” she said with faux seriousness. 

“Sorry, mom,” said Tendou, injecting the same inflection into his voice.

She shook her head at him. “It’s a good thing you’re around, Eita,” she said. She went up on her toes to press a quick kiss against Semi’s temple. “I’m hoping your politeness will rub off on him. Just don’t let it happen the other way around. If you come home to visit and you’re as ill-mannered as Satori I will fling myself off of the roof.”

She said it with a smile, clearly teasing, as she tossed one of Tendou’s bags over her shoulder and headed toward the door. 

“Thanks for your help, Akari-san,” said Semi, before she stepped into the hallway.

“Anytime, dear,” she said. “You know you can always ask me for anything. Remember what I said, Satori. Don’t take too long.”

Tendou waggled his fingers in a wave and then she was gone. He turned back to Semi, who’d again busied himself with unpacking.

“You know, Semi-Semi,” said Tendou, “I think my mom might like you more than she likes me.”

Semi rolled his eyes. “Whatever. She just feels sorry for me.”

“Not true,” said Tendou. He leaned against the wall, arms folded. “She liked you before she knew what was going on with your family. I think she’d trade me in for you, if she could.”

Semi gave him a flat look. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you’re pretty,” grinned Tendou. “I’m still disappointed we didn’t get assigned to the same room. I thought fate would be on our side.”

“The chances of that were almost nonexistent.”

“Yeah, but still. I wanted to see your pretty face every day.”

Semi put more clothes into the wardrobe and thought about curling up inside of it himself, so Tendou wouldn’t see how flustered he was. “You’ll see me every day anyway. It’s not like we’re that far.”

Tendou hummed and pushed himself away from the wall, slinking closer. “I hope so,” he said, quietly. “Maybe you’ll meet some cooler friends and decide you don’t want to hang out with me anymore.”

Semi shoved a handful of t-shirts into the wardrobe and turned to face him, scowling. “Don’t be stupid. You know me better than that.”

Tendou smiled, more subdued than his usual face-splitting grin. He brushed a lock of dip-dyed hair away from Semi’s forehead. “Yeah,” he murmured. “I think I do.”

He leaned in, and Semi raised his face to meet him. Their lips touched, tentative at first, before pressing into something more insistent. Tendou’s mouth moved against his, warm and familiar, and Semi slipped his arms around Tendou’s neck, linking his hands and pulling him closer.

One of Tendou’s hands threaded into Semi’s hair. The other rested on his hip, Tendou’s thumb slipping beneath the hem of Semi’s shirt to rub at his hipbone. 

Tendou gently nipped at Semi’s lip, soothed it with his tongue, and pulled back to press their foreheads together. 

“If I hadn’t met you in the park,” said Tendou, “I think university would’ve sucked.”

“You mean if you hadn’t _stalked_ me in the park,” corrected Semi with a small smile. “I thought you were weird. I still think you’re weird, I’ve just gotten used to it now.”

Tendou kissed him again, mumbling against Semi’s lips. “What’s that say about you, then?”

“I guess it means I’m attracted to weird.” 

“I hope your roommate’s normal. If he’s weird too I might lose you to him.”

“You don’t have to worry about that,” said Semi. He pushed up on his toes for a better angle, pressing another kiss against Tendou’s mouth. “No one’s weirder than you, Satori. There’s no competition.”

Tendou laughed as Semi pulled away and turned back to his now-empty bag. He tossed it to the side as Tendou flopped down on his bed and pillowed his arms behind his head. “I wasn’t really stalking you,” said Tendou. “I would’ve left you alone if you’d told me to. I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Why? I don’t exactly look friendly.”

“No, you look perpetually irritated,” said Tendou. “It was intimidating. But you were so pretty that I gave it a shot anyway.”

Semi had thought that after a while he would get used to the compliments that Tendou slipped into their conversations, but the flattered embarrassment hadn’t yet worn off. 

He sat on the edge of the bed beside Tendou. There was barely enough room; Akari hadn’t exaggerated about the small size. 

Tendou reached out, and Semi laced their fingers together.

“I’m glad you’re here,” said Tendou, “instead of Bordeaux. Not just because it makes me happy, but because I think it’ll make you happier. You deserve to be happy, Eita.”

“I am,” said Semi, “when you’re around.”

His phone buzzed, and Semi was grateful for the excuse to look away from Tendou’s expression of pleased surprise. 

It was a text, and at first Semi thought it must have been a mistake. He opened the message and stared at the screen, scanning it several times before the words sank in.

_Good luck with school, Eita. I know you’ll do well. I’d like it if you would check in every now and then, so I know you’re okay._

There was a short pause, and then a follow-up.

_I’m sorry._

Semi swallowed and tucked his phone back into his pocket, a mix of feelings clashing in his gut. 

Tendou sat up, his arm sliding around Semi’s shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

Semi leaned into him and shook his head. “Nothing. Just… my mom.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.”

Tendou popped a kiss against Semi’s cheek. “Okay then. Let me know if you change your mind. My room is practically on the other side of the world, but I’ll make the voyage over here if you need me to.”

“You could literally walk over here in two minutes.”

“You’re being dramatic, Semi-Semi. It would take at least three.”

Semi pressed his lips together to keep from smiling. He stood and grabbed his new key card off the end table. “Let’s head over to your dorm. We shouldn’t keep your mom waiting.”

“She left us alone on purpose,” said Tendou. “She knows we’re making out.”

“We’re not making out.”

“But we could be,” said Tendou with a grin, idly scuffing his feet against the floor. “Want to?”

Semi certainly did, but they would have time for that later; plenty of it, if they were lucky. “I want to go help your mom. It’s the least I can do.”

“Whatever you say, Semi-Semi,” said Tendou. He hopped off the bed and ambled over to his shoes by the door. “Hey, after we’re all settled in and she leaves, want to go get dinner together? Maybe we’ll get lucky and one of our roommates won’t move in until tomorrow and we can spend the night together.”

“Yeah,” said Semi, “maybe.” 

That was one thing Semi was going to miss. He’d gotten used to sleeping curled up beside Tendou. He wished he could do it every night, potentially for the rest of his life. Because he thought, just maybe, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Tendou. He knew he was still young, and they hadn’t known each other very long, so the thought may have been naïve. 

It may have been, but Semi didn’t believe that it was.

He may or may not make amends with his mother. That part of his future was uncertain.

But Semi was confident that, no matter what happened, he could always count on Tendou.


End file.
